PR 4827 
.J4 
1906 
Copy 1 









THE PLAYS OF 
HENRY ARTHUR JONES 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 

a Cornet^ in Gbree acts 



BY 



HENRY ARTHUR JONES^^ 



AUTHOR OF 

'THE LIARS," "MICHAEL AND HIS LOST ANGEL," "THE TEMPTER," 

"THE CRUSADERS," "JUDAH," "THE CASE OF REBELLIOUS 

SUSAN," "THE DANCING GIRL," "THE MIDDLEMAN," 

"THE ROGUE'S COMEDY," "THE TRIUMPH OF THE 

PHILISTINES," "THE MASQUERADERS," "THE ''*■<. 

MANOEUVRES OF jANE," "CARNAC SAHIB," 

"THE GOAL," "MRS. DANE'S DEFENCE," 

"THE LACKEY'S CARNIVAL,'' "THE 

PRINCESS'S NOSE," ETC. 



"V, 



Copyright, 1906, by Henry Arthur Jones 




PRICE 50 CENTS 



# 



NEW YORK 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

24 West 22D Street 



LONDON 
SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton St., 
Strand 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



HENRY ARTHUR JONES 



Copyright, 1906, by Henry Arthur Jones 



NEW YORK 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

26 WEST 22D STREET 



LONDON 
SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

PUBLISHERS 

89 STRAND 



FEB 11 190/ 

P Gwyrii*t Entry , 

8LASS <? XXc„ Ne. 1 



The follaivtng is a copy of the playbill of the first performance of 
"Joseph Entangled," at the Hay market Theatre, London : 

TO-NIGHT, TUESDAY, JANUARY 19TH, 1904, AT 8.45 O'CLOCK 

will be produced for the first time 

A NEW COMEDY IN THREE ACTS, CALLED 

JOSEPH ENTANGLED 

By HENRY ARTHUR JONES 



Sir Joseh Lacy Mr. Cyril Maude. 

Hardolph Mayne Lady Verona's 

Husband) Mr. Herbert Waring. 

Harry Ta vender Mr. Sam Sothern. 

Gerald FanmerE (Lady Joyce's 

Husbana, Mr. Kenneth Douglas. 

Jermyn Pyecroft Mr. Charles Sugden. 

Professor To field (Jobsonian Prof- 
essor of Moral Philosophy) Mr. Edmund Maurice. 

Knapman Mr. Frederic Volpe. 

Staddon Mr. Rudge Harding. 

Footman Mr. A. G. Onslow. 

Lady Verona Mayne Miss Ellis Jeffreys. 

Lady Joyce FanmerE (her Sister) . . Miss Winifred Arthur-Jones. 

Mrs. Harry TavEnder Miss Beatrice Ferrar. 

Mrs. Knapman Mrs. Charles Calvert. 



The first performance in America was given at the Columbia 
Theatre, San Francisco, Cal. , on August 8, 1904. 



A New Comedy in Three Acts 
entitled 

JOSEPH ENTANGLED 

BY 

HENRY ARTHUR JONES 



Sir Joseph Lacy Mr. Henry Miller. 

Hardolph Mayne Mr. John Glendeinning. 

Professor Tofield Mr. Walter Allen. 

Jermyn Pyecroft Mr. Stanley Dark. 

Harry Ta vender Mr. Frederick Tieden. 

Gerald Fanmere Mr. J. Hartley Manners. 

Knapman Mr. Fred. Tyler. 

Staddon Mr. Bertram Harrison. 

Footman Mr. Frank Willard. 

Lady Verona Mayne Miss Hilda Spong. 

Lady Joyce Fanmere Miss Grace Heyer. 

Mrs. Harry Ta vender . . . .Miss Jessie Busley. 

Mrs. Knapman Mrs. Maggie Holla way Fisher. 




PERSONS REPRESENTED. 

Sir Joseph Lacy. 

Hardolph Mayne, Lady Verona's husband. 

Harry Tavender. 

Gerald Fanmere, Lady Joyce's husband. 

JERMYN PYECROFT. 

Professor Tofield, Jobsonian Prof essor of Moral Philosophy. 

Knapman. 

Staddon. 

Footman. 

Lady Verona Mayne. 

Lady Joyce Fanmere, Lady Verona's sister. 

Mrs. Harry Tavender. 

Mrs. Knapman. 

The action takes place in London at the present time. 

ACT I. 

Scene i : The Morning-room at Mr. Hardolph 
Mayne's, Saville Street, Piccadilly. 
Time : Ten o'clock on an evening in August. 

Scene 2 : The Same. 

Time : The next morning. 

ACT II. 

Scene: Sir Joseph's Chambers, overlooking the 
Green Park. 

Time : An afternoon in the following October. 
ACT III. 

Scene: The Back Drawing-room at Mr. Hardolph 
Mayne's. 

Time : The same afternoon. 

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III 1 1 1 _ 1 



ACT I. 



Scene i. The morning-room at Mr. Hardolph 
Mayne's, Saville Street, Piccadilly. A small 
front room on the ground floor in a London 
mansion. A door at back leading into hall. A 
door right. A window, left, looking out upon a 
fashionable West End street. A table up stage, 
left, with chairs on each side. An oval table 
down stage, right. A table with writing mate- 
rials down stage, left, below window. A hand- 
some cabinet at back to right of door. A clock 
on the mantel-shelf. The room is bright, cosy, 
and furnished with taste; but there are evidences 
that the family is out of tozvn. There is a gen- 
eral air of untidiness, betokening a month's ab- 
sence of the housemaid. Several articles of wear- 
ing-apparel belonging to Mr. and Mrs. Knap- 
man are scattered about the room, a bonnet, 
shawl, trousers, slippers, etc. The table, left, is 
laid for two in a slovenly way, and with a dirty 
tablecloth. A supper of cold ham, with bread, 
and beer has just been eaten, and its remains are 
apparent. The window is thrown open at the 
bottom and the blind is up. The time is ten 
o'clock, on an evening in late August when no- 
body is in town. 

Discover at the table left, Knapman and Mrs. 
Knapman. Knapman is a portly butler about 
fifty, in his shirtsleeves, and with his tie 

7 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Rises, takes 
his coat from 
chair l., puts 
it on. 



loosened; his coat is hanging on a chair. Mrs. 
Knapman is a housekeeper of about the same 
age; she is quietly dressed after the manner of 
her class. As the curtain rises Mrs. Knapman 
is draining the remains of her beer from her 
tankard. Knapman, having just -finished his, 
stretches out his legs and arms, and yawns. 

Knapman. [Taking out his watch.] 

Five minutes to ten ! * What a demoralizing hole 
London is out of the season. 

Mrs. K. [Severely.] 
Yes — for them as will demoralize themselves. 

Knap. 
Meaning me, Eliza ? 2 

Mrs. K. 
If the cap fits, you can put it on. 

Knap. [Good-humoiircdly.] 

Very well, I will. Having no better occupation for 
my mind, Eliza, I'm going to demoralize myself for 
a quarter of an hour at the " Lord Palmerston." 3 

Mrs. K. 
A quarter of an hour! Well, I'm going to bed. 4 

Knap. 

I offer no objection; I've got the masters latch- 
key. 5 

Mrs. K. 

If you're late, and especially if you're anyways 
" on," you'd better go up to the top attic and turn 
in there. The bed is made. 



' Goes up C. gets 
his Itat from 
chair and 
opens door. 



3 Filling his 
pipe. 



* Rises and col- 
lects dirty pla- 
tes. 



B Going out. 



SC I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Knap. 

Very well ; x you go and take your peaceful slum- 
bers. I won't disturb you. Good-night, Eliza. 

[Exit. 2 The front door is heard to shut 
behind him. Mrs. Knapman 3 rises 
and begins to clear away the supper 
things.] 

A knock at the front door, followed by a ring which 
is heard as if from downstairs. 4 ~ Mrs. Knap- 
man is arrested in the act of patting azvay the 
supper things; shows surprise; the knock and 
ring are repeated; Mrs. Knapman comes 
from cabinet; goes to window and looks out. 

Mrs. K. [Looking out, surprised.] 
My lady ! 

Lady V. [Voice outside.] 
Yes, let us in at once. 



1 Lighting his 
pipe. 



2 At back. 



s The clock on 
mantel piece 
strikes "Ten." 
When the lat- 
ter has struck 
" 3 times " a 
clock is heard 
to chime at 
back of stage— 
4 quarters and 
" Ten." When 
the 2nd chime 
has begun, a 
big bell under 
stage strikes 
" Ten" 

* Knock heard 
off L. and ring 



Yes, my lady! 



Mrs. K. 



[Comes from zvindow, goes off door at back; 
is heard to open a door in passage. 

A few seconds later enter 5 Lady Verona Mayne 
and Lady Joyce Fanmere, followed by Mrs. 
Knapman. 6 Lady Verona is about thirty; 
Lady Joyce is her younger sister. They are 
both in travelling dresses, with summer dust- 
coats over them. They give evidences of 
travel and fatigue, of past excitement, and a 
little present ill-humour. 

Mrs. K. [Having followea} them in.] 

Oh, my lady, if we'd had any idea you were coming 

up, you wouldn't have found the place like this 

9 



6 At back. 



Mrs. Knapman 
closes the door 
and stands c. 
Lady V. goes 
doivn R. and 
Lady J. sits R 
of table L. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Lady V. 
Never mind, I'm going to sleep here to-night- 

Mrs. K. 
Yes, my lady. And Lady Joyce? 

Lady J. 

No. 

Lady V. 

I suppose my room is ready ? ° 
Mrs. K. 



Taking off her 
gloves. 



1 Mrs. A", snatch- 
es the shawl 
from back of 
Lady Joyce s 
chair. 

* Mrs A", steals 
up to cabinet, 
takes u/> her 
bonnet, which 
is on cha ir by 
cabinet, stands 
with her hands 
behind her 
h av in g the 
bonnet and 
shawl. 

3 Comes C. 



* Crosses ton. c. 
5 Sits down. 



It could be got ready in a few minutes. 1 [She is 
stealthily collecting the articles of wearing-apparel 
belonging to Knapman and herself.] Mr. Mayne's 
room is quite in order 2 

Lady V. 

I prefer to sleep in my own. Go and prepare it, 
and look out everything that I shall want for the 
night. 

Mrs. K. 3 

Yes my lady. I daresay my lady you're surprised 
to find us up here in the morning-room. 

Lady V. [Sniffing Knapman's tobacco.] 

I certainly expected you to keep to your own 
apartments. 

Mrs. K. 

Yes, my lady, and in the natural course of things 
we should ; but what with this dreadful weather — 
and we did fancy there was microbes downstairs — 
so we took the liberty of 



Lady V. 

Yes, yes, very well, I'm tired. 4 
room ready at once. 5 
io 



Please get my 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Mrs. K. 1 



Yes, my lady. 



[Exit. 



Lady Verona and Lady Joyce sit looking 
at each other. 

Lady V. [Shaking her head severely at Lady 
Joyce.] 

Oh, you foolish, foolish creature! If I hadn't 
rushed up to town and stopped you, where would 
you have been at this moment ? 

Lady J. 

I suppose I should have been crossing- the Channel 
with Colonel Tyack — [Looks at clock] no, we 
shouldn't have reached Dover. 

Lady V. 
You seem to take it very coolly 



Lady J. 

My dear, I'm just done! I simply haven't the 
power to feel anything — not even what a donkey 
I've been. 

Lady V. 4 
Joyce, darling, you're sure 

Lady J. 
Yes, dear, quite ! You believe me ? 

Lady V. [Looks scarcliingly at her.] 

Yes, dear. [Kisses her.] But how could you have 
been so mad ? 5 I thought you were very happy 
with Fanny. 

Lady J. 

So I am! Poor old Fanny! I'm devoted to him. 

1 1 



1 L. of table R. 

- Goes to door R. 
on tnrni?ig she 
suddenly cat- 
ches sight of 
Knap >n a n's 
trousers which 
are oi'er the 
back of chair 
R., she steals 
down to chair, 
snatches up the 
trousers and 
exits at door 



3 Right. 



* Rises and goes 
to foyce, tak- 
ing her hand. 



6 Crosses to win- 
dow L. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Lady J. rises, 
goes up c. a 
feiu steps then 
turns to speak 
her next lines. 



Lady V. 

you going 



to run away with 



Then why were 
Colonel Tyack? 

Lady J. 

I'm sure I don't know. An uncontrollable impulse. 
What made Lady Fibury steal all those silk blouses 
from Marshall and Snellgrove's ? She has ten 
thousand a year. But she suddenly saw all the 
pretty things in front of her and she couldn't 
resist 

Lady V. 
That was kleptomania. 

Lady J. 
Well so was mine — a sort of kleptomania. 

Lady V. 

You suddenly saw Colonel Tyack — you don't call 
him pretty ! 

Lady J. 

No, but he has style, and a way of commanding — 
Oh, I hate him! [Lady Verona looks surprised.'] 
I do really hate him. 

Lady V. 
And yet you were 

Lady J. [Irritated.] * 

Oh, Vee, please don't go on about it any more. 
You forget you once planned to run away with Jo 
Lacy. 

Lady V. 

That was before I was married. We were both 
free, and we both loved each other 

Lady J. 

Then why didn't you go on with it? 
12 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT 1 



Lady V. 

I heard such dreadful tales about Jo — and I funked 
it at the last moment. Poor Jo, I'm afraid I 
treated him very badly! But — he soon got over it 
and — [sighs deeply] I daresay I'm much happier 
with Hardolph — at least, I'm much safer. 1 Now, 
dear, we're not going to have any more attacks of 
this — this matrimonial kleptomania? 

Lady J. 

No! Of course not. Colonel Tyack will be in 
Egypt, and my dear old Fanny will be back to-night 
to take care of me. Ah ! 

Lady V. 
What's the matter ? 

Lady J. 

Fanny wrote me to go to Thurston's hotel and take 
our usual rooms and wait there for him. His train 
is due at eleven. 

Lady V. 

Hadn't I better come with you? 

Lady J. 

No. He'd wonder why you were up in town. 2 I'll 
get a cab at the corner. Don't worry about me any 
more. I'm quite safe. [Very heartily.'] Bless 
you, dear ! It was good of you to rush up and save 
me. Good-night, old girl. [A very hearty caress. 



1 Goes to front of 
table L. 



Goes up to door 
C, theft turns 
to Lady V. 



Lady V. 
Good-night, dear. 

[They kiss each other very heartily. 3 

Lady J. 
Vee, you won't say a word to Hardolph about this ? 

13 



3 Lady J. opens 
door and then 
turns again. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENGANGLED 



sc. i 



Lady V. 

No, dear, of course not. Hardolph doesn't under- 
stand matrimonial kleptomania. 

Lady J. [Hastily glances at her zvatch.] 

I must rush off. 

[Exit, 1 followed by Lady Verona. Leaves 
door open. 

Mrs. Knapman enters 2 hastily puts the ham 
into the cabinet, finds a pair of Knapman's 
slippers 3 throws them off 4 looks round to see 
if the room is clear of her belongings. 5 Re- 
enter Lady Verona. 6 



1 At back. 



2 Right. 

3 In front of 
table R. 

4 Door right. 

6 A door is 
heard to slain 
off i.. 

6 A I back. 

7 Stands behind 
cliair L. c. 



8 Gets her hat, 
gloves and bag 
from chair 
down R. 



Goes up r. c. 



Mrs. K. 7 

Your room is quite ready, my lady. Shall I wait 
on you? 

Lady V. 
Yes, please. Where is Knapman ? s 

Mrs. K. 

He's gone to pay a visit to his mother at Willesden 
Green; and she being very a'ged he might be a 
little late on account of her dropsy. There's no 
need for me to wait up, unless your ladyship wishes 
me to. 

Lady V. 

No, I shall be going back to Oxfordshire by the 
half-past ten train. I shall want some breakfast. 9 

Mrs. K. 
Yes, my lady. Ham and eggs? Or a sole 



Lady V. 

Anything. A sole will do. 
14 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Yes, my lady. 1 



Mrs. K. 



Lady V. 2 



Oh, Mrs. Knapman, you needn't mention my visit 
to town with Lady Joyce. 

Mrs. K. 
Oh no, my lady, of course not. 3 

[Exit Lady Verona. 4 Mrs. Knapman 
looks round, drazvs down the window 
sash, bolts it, puts out electric light. 
Exit. 5 A long pause. 6 The clock in 
room strikes the half hour. The clock 
at back also chimes the half hour. 

The front door is heard to open, and Knapman 
enters at back, smoking, turns up the electric 
light, takes his pipe out of his mouth, breathes 
heavily as if oppressed by the heat. 

Knap. 
,Whew ! 7 

Sir J. {Voice heard outside.'] 
Hillo, Knapman, is that you ? 

Knap. [With cordial, respectful recognition. 81 
Sir Joseph ! I didn't know you were in town, sir ! 

Sir J. [Voice outside,'] 

I wish I wasn't. I've just come up from Devon- 
shire, and I've lost all my luggage. Any of your 
folks in town? 

Knap. 

No, Sir Joseph. Would you care to come inside 
for a moment? 

15 



1 By this time 

Mrs. K. has 
moved front 
buck of chair 
L. c. to back of 
table L. and is 
about to fold 
the table-clotk 
up. 

2 Going off c. 
stops, pauses. 



; Stops folding 
cloth suddenly 
and makes a 
grimace to in- 
dicate to audi- 
ence that she 
suspects some- 
thing. 

4 At back. 

6 A t back. 

6 All lights on 
stage go out 
when electric 
brackets go. 



' Closes door, 
takes his coat 
off, throws it 
on chair by 
cabinet, moves 
down to ■win- 
dow L., opens 
it, sits on sill 
and smokes 
quietly. 

Leaning out of 
window. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



* Comes away 
from windoiv, 
gets his coat, 
puts his coat 
on, exit at 
back, is heard 
to open the 

front door. 

* Closes door and 

steps down. 



s Places his hat, 
coat and stick 
on table L. c. 
then crosses to 
table R. and 
sits L. of it. 



* Knapman goes 
to cabinet, 
brings whis- 
key bottle and 
tumbler and 
jug of water. 



Sir J. 
I don't mind if I do, Knapman. 

Knap. 
I'll let you in, Sir Joseph. 1 

A few moments later Sir Joseph Lacy enters at 
back, an English gentleman about forty. He 
is in morning dress, as if he had just come 
from a journey. Knapman follows him on. 2 

Knap. 
Lost your luggage, Sir Joseph? 



Every stick of it. 



That's unlucky. 



Sir J. 



Knap. 



Sir J. 

I've had a beastly unlucky day. First of all my 
man Staddon gets laid up with chicken-pox; I have 
to come to town alone; get up here; no luggage; 
telegraph all along the line, no sign of it; can't get 
into my chambers as I've let them till next month; 
drive off to my club, finds it's shut for repairs. 
Whew ! It's very warm ! Can you manage a drop 
of anything to drink, Knapman? 

Knap. 

I can give you a whiskey and plain water, Sir Jo- 
seph. 

Sir J. 

Good. 4 Mr. Mayne shooting in Scotland ? ; 



Knap. 



Yes, Sir Joseph. 



16 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 

Sir J. 
Lady Verona with him ? 

Knap. 
No Sir Joseph.' Her ladyship is staying for a few 
weeks m Oxfordshire. [Putting whiskey in frZ 

t neVoTs'Uh^ anythinS * "° U L " d 

Sir J. 
Nothing, my good Knapmarf*— except a bed in a 
mce large-whewf-cool room. I don't like «£„* 
to an hotel without any Inggage; I suppose I shall* 
have to turn m at the Junior-beastly stuffy little 
rooms they are-and a night like this-Whew I 

Knap. 

I could put you up in Mr. Mayne's room for the 
mght, if you don't mind 

Sir J. 
That's a good idea of yours, Knapman. 

Knap. 

t^obhge'yc 1 ;: Mayne W0UM ° nly be t0 ° ™^ 

Sir J. 

I'm sure he would T cha'n't u^ • • 

anyone? WUU1C1 - l sna n t be inconveniencing 

Knap. 

e^°c t eDt b th; Sir J ° Seph -, T ' lere ' S " 0b0d y in the h °™ 
fast asleep m ' SSUS "* "* A " d She ' S in M »d 

Sir J. 

tnTniX"' FT"?' y °\ sha11 P ut me U P h "e for 

of vo f y £ ° r me * happened t0 cat<:h «ght 

17 



ACT I 



1 Brings things 
down to table 



2 Knapman goes 
back to cabinet, 
shuts the door 
of it and then 
drops down c. 

8 Helps himself 

to whiskey and 
water. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



* Takes a cig- 
arette out. 



* Lights cigar- 
ette. 



Wasn't it, sir? 



Knap. 



Sir J. 



You're still very comfortable here, I suppose, Knap- 
man? 1 

Knap. 

Well yes, sir, in a general way. Of course, Sir 
Joseph, I shall always consider the happiest period 
of my life was the fifteen years I spent in your 
father's service. 

Sir J. 

Ah ! Dear old dad ! 2 Good sort, wasn't he ? 
Fifteen years you were in our family, eh? 

Knap. 

Yes, Sir Joseph. And except for the upsets on 
your account, Sir Joseph, if I'm not impertinent in 
reminding you of your youthful sprees 

Sir J. 

Oh, no, Knapman, oh, no. Hey! Hey! [Sig/iJ.] 
Ah ! Ah ! Youthful sprees and I have long been 
strangers. 

Knap. 

All over and done with, Sir Joseph? 

Sir J. 
All over and done with. 

Knap. 
You did go it a terrific pace in those days, sir. 

Sir J. 

Did I, Knapman? You think so? 

Knap. 

Well, sir, what do you think ? 
18 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



I suppose I did. 



Sir J. 



Knap. 



That night after the races, the young lady that lost 
her two mammas, one after the other. Ha! ha! 
[Knapman laughs; Sir Joseph laughs in com- 
pany.] That was a rum go, sir. 

Sir J. [Laughing.] 
Ha ! Ha ! It was a rum go, Knapman. 

Knap. 

r And you looking so innocent over it all the while. 
If I might say so, Sir Joseph, that's the best of you. 

Sir J. 
What's the best of me? 

Knap. 

Your looking so innocent. 1 You always did, Sir 
Joseph. And [gazing at Sir Joseph] so you do 
now, sir. 

Sir J. 
Do I ? I look innocent still. You think so, eh ? 

Knap. 

Yes, Sir Joseph. Nobody would take you for 

Sir J. 
For what, Knapman? 

Knap. 
Well, nobody would take you for 

Sir J. 
Go on, Knapman! Go on! 

19 



1 Sir Joseph futs 
on an innocent 
babyish ex- 
pression and 
looks at Knap- 
man. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Knap. 

Well, if you'll pardon my saying so, for the tre- 
mendous lady-killer we all know you are. You do 
look so remarkably innocent. 



1 Moves table L. 
C. Knapman 
moves to win- 
dow. Sir J. 
takes up his 
hat, puts it on, 
then his coat 
and stick and 
moves already 
up to door c. 

2 Shuts down 
and bolts win- 
dow. 



8 All lights go as 
b efo re. All 
limes white. 
Float and 

lengths full up 
everywhere 
Electric scon- 
ces out. 



* The table l. C. 
is moved up 
stage a little, 
the chair that 
Knapman sat 
in is moved to 
side of wall 
above window. 
The armchair 
is brought 

down L. c. a 
little, the chair 
r. of table R. 
is moved up 
stage to R. side 
of china cabi- 
net. The cov- 
ers are pulled 
off the cur- 
tains ; the 
paper taken 
from off writ- 
ing table ," pa- 
per takenfrom 
fire-place and 
the hat box 
take?! off top of 
china cabinet. 
In the place of 
the Knapmans 
table-cloth on 
table L. c. is a 
bowl of 

flowers. 

6 Comes to table 
L. of her. 



Sir J. 

I do, eh? Upon my word, Knapman, I begin to 
feel remarkably innocent. Heigho ! Heigho ! 
[Drinks up his whiskey, rises and yawns.'] Now, 
Knapman, I'm ready for bed. 1 

Knap. 
Very well, sir. 2 What time shall I call you, sir? 

Sir J. 

Oh, say half-past eight. [Ycnvns.] I think I can 
put in a good nine hours of it to-night. 

[Sir Joseph yawns, and exit at back. 

Knapman turns out light and follows 

him. 3 

curtain. 

Curtain remains dozvn for half a minute to signify 
the passing of the night. 



Scene 2. 4 The same room the next morning. It 
is nozu very tidy; the furniture is all in its right 
place, and all traces of the Knapmans' occupa- 
tion are removed. The table right is laid for 
breakfast for one person, with a spotless table- 
cover. Discover Mrs. Knapman at the table; 
she is laying the breakfast. 

Enter Knapman at back, leaving door open. 
Knap. [Cordially.'] 

Good morning, Eliza. 5 
20 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Mrs. K. 

That means you weren't in a proper condition to 
say " Good night." 

Knap. 
There's no pleasing you, Eliza. You told me to 
sleep up in the attic so as not to rob you of your 
beauty-sleep. Well, so I did. 

Mrs. K. 

Yes, and the moment you'd took yourself off her 
ladyship turned up. 

Knap. 
Her ladyship! 

Enter Lady Verona at back, carrying her hat, etc. 

Lady V. 
Good morning, Knapman. 1 

Knap. 
Good morning, your ladyship. 

Lady V. [Taking out her watch.'] 
My watch has stopped. What's the right time ? 

Mrs. K. 2 
That clock is quite right, my lady. 

Lady V. 3 

Then I've plenty of time to catch the ten-thirty. 
You can bring up the breakfast. 4 

Mrs. K. 
Yes, my lady. 

[Exit Mrs. Knapman at back, closing door. 

Knap. [Embarrassed.] 
I beg pardon, my lady 

21 



1 Comes down c. 



2 Pointing to 
clock R. 



' Crosses to fire 
R., places her 
hat down on 
chair down R. 
Knapman 
drops down to 
L. c. 

4 Goes to desk l. 



ACT I 



JOSERH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Lady V. 
What is it ? * 

Knap. 

I happened to be out last evening when your lady- 
ship arrived 

Lady V. 
Yes. How's your mother? 

Knap. [Puzzled.] 
My mother? She's about as usual, my lady. 

Lady V. 

I'm going to send her another parcel of old 

linen 

Knap. 

Thank you, my lady. 

Lady V. 

Tell her to let me know if there is anything else 
she wants. 

Knap. 
Thank you, my lady. I was about to say 

Lady V. 
Well? 

Knap. 

Just as I was shutting up last night, Sir Joseph 
Lacy happened to be passing 

Lady V. 
Indeed ! 

Knap. 

He'd lost all his luggage, and his club was closed 
for cleaning-up 

Lady V. 

Well ? 

22 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Knap. 

So being a friend of Mr. Mayne's and yours I took 
the liberty of putting him up for the night. 

Lady V. 
Here? 

Knap. 

Yes, my lady, in Mr. Mayne's room. [Lady V. 
Smiles.] 

Lady V. 

Where is he now? 

Knap. 

He's just coming down. I've been valet' ng him 
and lending him some of Mr. Mayne's things. 
Here he is 1 

Enter Sir Joseph. 2 

Sir J. [Surprised.] 

What! Lady Vee? How d'ye do? This is a 
surprise ! Just come up to town ? 
[Shaking hands cordially.] 

Lady V. 3 
No, I spent the night here. 

Sir J. 

Here? [To Knapman.] Why didn't you tell me 
her ladyship was in town? 

Knap. 4 

I hadn't the least idea of it, Sir Joseph. I'd just 
stepped out on a little private business, and her 
ladyship arrived during my absence. 

Lady V. 

Well, it's very absurd. Now you are here, you'd 

better stay and have breakfast with me 

23 



» When Sir J. 
comes down 
Knapman 
goes to table R. 

* At back, leaves 
door open. 



3 Rises. 



* Busying him- 
self with 
breakfast 
things. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



Re-enter Mrs. Knapman at back with a tray con- 
taining plates, dishes, etc. Mrs. Knapman 
shows some astonishment at seeing Sir Joseph. 



Looks at Knap- 
man inquir- 
ingly. 



1 Goes off right 
and returns. 



* Sits down l. c. 



Thanks very much, 
man. 



Sir J. 

Good morning, Mrs. Knap- 



Mrs. K. 

Good morning, Sir Joseph. 

Lady V. 

Sir Joseph will take breakfast with me. What 
have you got? 

Mrs. K. 

There's only a fried sole, my lady. Shall I get some 
bacon and eggs? 

[Lady Verona looks inquiringly at Sir 
Joseph. 

Sir J. 

Not for me. A mere fraction of that sole, and 
your company will be a perfect breakfast for me. 

Lady V. 
Lay a knife and fork for Sir Joseph. 

[Knapman 1 brings back knife and fork, 
plate, etc., for Sir Joseph, helps Mrs. 
Knapman to lay the table. Lady 
Verona 2 regards Sir Joseph comic- 
ally, and has a little tit of laughter. 

Sir J. 
What are you laughing at? 

Lady V. 



At this extraordinary adventure, 
brought you to town in August? 
24 



What has 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Sir J. 

I'm going through to the Engadine; I leave Vic- 
toria at eleven — that is, if my luggage turns up in 
time. What has brought you up to town ? 

Lady V. 
Me? Oh — nothing— a little shopping. 

Mrs. K. 
The breakfast is ready, my lady. 

[Lady Verona j goes to table, motioning 
Sir. J. to sit opposite her, he does so. 2 

Knap. 3 
Is there anything else your ladyship requires ? 4 

Lady V. 

No, you needn't wait. [Exit Mrs. Knapman.] 5 
Oh, Knapman, I shall want a hansom at ten. 

Knap. 
Yes, your ladyship. 6 

[Exit Knapman. 7 Lady Verona, having 
seated herself, 8 points Sir Joseph to a 
seat. He sits. 9 

Sir J. 
Now ! Sole ! Let me give you some sole.; 



Lady V. 



Thank you. Coffee? 

Thank you. 

How many lumps? 



Sir J. 
Lady V. 



1 Rises. 

2 Sir J. goes at 
table to right. 



4 Places chair R. 
of table for 
Sir/. 



B At back. 



6 Removes cover 
from sole and 
places it on 
table R. 

7 At back. 

8 L. of table. 

9 R. of tabU. 



25 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Sir J. 

Ah! Oughtn't you to know? This isn't the first 
time we have breakfasted together. 

Lady V. 

It's the first time we breakfasted alone; mamma 
was always at the head of the table in those days. 

Sir J. [Sighing.] 

Ah! Ah! In those days! 

Lady V. 
I'll risk two lumps. 

Sir J. 

And I will take whatever you consider good for 
me. 1 

Lady V. 
Shall you be away long? 

Sir J. 

Can't say. I may go on to Italy — in that case I 
sha'n't be back till the end of October. What are 
your plans? 

Lady V. 

I'm staying in Oxfordshire for another week. 
Then I join Hardolph in Scotland. 

Sir J. 

Dear old Hardolph, I'm very fond of Hardolph. 
I've only one grudge against him 



1 Business of 
handing each 
other plates 
and cuf>s, and 
of h e I p i n g 
themselves. 



What's that? 



Lady V. 



Sir J. 



Well, when a man robs you of the one thing that 
would have transformed this world from a waste, 
26 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



howling wilderness into a — . Now, candidly, Vee, 
you wouldn't like me to forgive Hardolph, would 
you ? 

Lady V. 
Jo, you are incorrigible. 

Sir J. 

No, I'm not; I'm the sweetest, gentlest creature. 
A child can guide me. Tell me to forgive Hardolph 
for having stolen you from me, and I'll try to love 
him like a brother. Tell me not to cherish a hope- 
less, incurable passion for you, and I'll make frantic 
efforts to crush it. 1 

Lady V. 
My dear Jo, it's useless to try this tone upon me. 

Sir J. 

^'hat tone? 2 

Lady V. 

This tone of silly, sentimental badinage, which 
doesn t allow the woman the poor gratification of 
feeling that she is being made love to in earnest. 

Sir J. 

Oh, 3 if you wish for that kind of gratification 

(approaching her). 

Lady V. 

I don't. 4 What have you been doing in Devon- 
shire? 

Sir J. 

I've had an awful fortnight with my uncle Pro- 
fessor Tofield. 

Lady V. 
The professor is a terror, isn't he? 

27 



1 Goes on eating: 



1 Takes his cup 
up. 



8 Rises quickly 
and goes 
round back 0/ 
table to her. 



* Sir J. laughs 
and sits down 
again. Lady 
V. laughs. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. n 



Sir J. 

Awful. However, his third wife left the old chap 
a heap of money, and as I'm his nearest relation 
I keep in with him. How are all your folks ? Lady 
Joyce and Fanny? 

Lady V. 

Very well indeed. Fanny came up from his yacht 
last night, and Joyce joined him. 

Sir J. 
I'm glad that match has turned out so well. 

Lady V. 
Excellently. Help yourself to a little more sole. 

Sir J. 
Let me give you some 

Lady V. 
No thank you. A little marmalade? 

Sir J. 
Let me give you some first. 

Lady V. 

Thank you. 

[Helps her, and he helps himself, looking at 
her with great admiration. Pause.] 

Sir J. 

How strange that we should be seated here at 
breakfast — together — alone. I've often wondered 

Lady V. 
What? 

Sir J. 

Why did you chuck me as you did t 
28 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Lady V. 

Ah ! Why did I ? Because I felt sure that if I did 
marry you I should repent. But then I felt equally 
sure that if I didn't marry you I should repent. 
You know marriage is really nothing but a trap of 
that kind for all of us poor women. Well between 
wondering how unhappy I should be without you, 
and how very much more unhappy I should be with 
you, I found I couldn't catch the train, and next 
morning poor dear mamma found out all about it, 
and squashed it altogether. I was simply heart- 
broken. 

Sir J. 
Ah! 

Lady V. 
For some days — if not weeks. 

Sir J. 
And then you married Hardolph. 

Lady V. 
And then I married Hardolph. 

Sir J. 
And my life was ruined. 

Lady V. 

Oh no, my dear Jo, I'm not going to be saddled 
with your ruin. If you remember your life was 
ruined several times before you met me. And how 
many times has it been ruined since? eh? 

Sir J. 

Ah ! That's the result of giving a boy the name of 
Joseph ! 



What is ? 



Lady V. 



29 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



1 Takes up cup 
and drinks. 



2 Sir J. rises and 
goes round 
back of table 
with his cup 
and saucer. 
Lady V. helps 
him to coffee. 



8 Offering to 
take cross off 
the chain she 
wears round 
her neck. 



Sir J. 

When I woke up to the responsibilities of my name, 
I did my best to live up to them. But when I found 
what my godfathers and godmother had let me in 
for, I instinctively rebelled. Human nature refuses 
to be driven into a groove. My nature refused to 
be driven into the groove of Joseph — and here I 
am, a waif and stray, an orphan of forty, a mere 
bit of masculine wreckage, floating on any tide, 
without any rudder, to any unknown shore. 1 

Lady V. 

Poor orphan of forty! Let me give you a little 
more coffee ! 2 

Sir J. 

You were attached to me, Vee. You're wearing 
the cross I gave you on our journey back from 
Scotland. 

Lady V. 

I've never troubled to take it off the chain. But 
you can have it back if you like. Will you ? 3 

Sir J. 

No. I've got the little heart you gave me. [Shozv- 
ing it on his watch chain.] Confess, Vee. you felt 
it very deeply when our engagement was broken 
off? 

Lady V. 

You want to know the truth? I felt it terribly; 
more than I like to remember. 



Ah! 



Sir J. 

[Approaching very tenderly. 

Lady V. 

Now. Please don't get sentimental. It was the 
30 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



very best thing that could have happened for me. 
I'm very glad mamma was so firm and parted us. 

Now are you satisfied? 
[Smiling at Jiim. 1 



Sir J. 
If you are happy — yes. 2 

Lady V. 
I am happy. Hardolph is the best of husbands. 

Sir J. 

I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is ! A little difficult 
at times, our dear Hardolph, eh? hum? hum? 

Lady V. 

Perhaps; but I keep a little birch rod for him on 
such occasions. 

Sir J. 
A little birch rod? Of what nature? 

Lady V. 

That's my secret. Every wise woman keeps a birch 
rod for her husband when he's difficult. Now tell 
me about yourself. Why don't you find some nice 
girl and settle down ? 

[He shakes his head. 

Sir J. 
I shall never marry. 

[Looking at her. 

Lady V. 

Your hopeless passion for me? [He nods.] You 
know, Jo, I don't in the least mind your having a 
hopeless passion for me. I think it's rather nice of 
you — only you will please to recognize that it is 
hopeless. 

[Sighs. 

3i 



1 Sir J. moves 
round to R. 0/ 

table. 



8 Sits again. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Sir J. 
I know that. 1 

Lady V. 

Verv well, then — we can be on the best terms. You 
shall indulge your hopeless passion for me, and I'll 
be a sister to you, shall I ? 

Sir J. 
I thought you didn't like silly badinage? 

Lady V. 

Oh, yes, in a woman — it's often her best protection. 
What makes you look so serious ? 

Sir J. 
Perhaps I oughtn't to tell you. 

Lady V. 
Oh do — if it's about your hopeless passion. 

Sir. J. 2 [With great seriousness.'] 

I don't defend my life, Vee. I know I've wasted 
it in all kinds of folly and — worse. And now I 
only live in the moment, and for the moment. I 
simply daren't look backward or forward. And 
so I chaff myself and everything and everybody, 
as I've been doing this morning. That's because 
I've lost the power of feeling or caring very deeply 
about anything 

Lady V. 

Are you sure of that ? 

Sir J. 

Yes! yes. There's nothing left in the world that 
isn't fit to be chaffed — except you, Vee; and upon 
my soul at times I'm ready to chaff my love for 
you — though God knows it's the one thing that is 



2 Sir J. moves 
his chair 

round the back 
of table till he 
is quite close to 
Lady V. he 
then sits. 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



sacred to me — it's the one thing in my life that I 
don't regret, and that I should like to be thinking 
of when I die — the love I had for you, the love 
I have for you, 1 Vee. 



If you do I must 



Lady V. 

Jo ! you mustn't speak like this. 2 
ask you never to see me again. 

Sir J. 

You needn't be afraid, I love you too much to bring 
you into my life. But I mean every word of what 
I said. There ! you've heard it, and you know that 
I shall always love you. Now that's all over. May 
I have some more coffee? What were we talking 
about. Oh, you were going to be my sister. 



Lady V. 3 

I don't think I can be your sister now. 
dangerous. [Looks at him.] No! 



It's too 



Sir J. 

Well, be my something! Don't leave me out in 
the cold. 4 

Lady V. 

Poor orphan of forty! [Suddenly.] I'll adopt 
you! I'll be your mother. 

Sir J. 
No, don't be my mother. 



Yes, I will. 



Lady V. 



Sir J. 



Oh, very well. What are you going to do with me ? 

33 



1 Takes 

hand. 



her 



2 Sir J. releases 
her hand and 
sits back in his 
chair. 



1 Lady V. pours 
out coffee. 



* Both laugh. 



ACT T 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Lady V. 

When we all come back to town I shall take you 
in hand and marry you to that very nice girl. 



No, don't. 
Yes, I will. 



1 Drinks his 
coffee. 



* Puts cup down 
suddenly . 

* Moves closer to 
her and speaks 
very s oft /y 
and winning- 

ly. 

*At back. Mrs. 
K . must enter 
very quickly 
on her cue, as 
the door is 
opened Mrs. 
Tavender is 
seen in the pas- 
sage outside 
the door. Mrs. 
Knapman see- 
ing the em- 
barrass me nt 
of Sir J . and 
Lady V. gives 
a half glance 
behind her 
back to Mrs. 
Tavender and 
then shuts the 
door on her. 



Sir J. 

Lady V. 

Sir J. 



Oh, very well. Only do take a little care whom 
you marry me to. 

Lady V. 
I will. She shall be very nice. 

Sir J. 
I wonder if she'll have me? 1 

Lady V. 
I'm sure she will, if you 

Sir J. 
If I what? 2 

Lady V. 
Surely you know the way to win a woman's heart? 

Sir J. 3 

Do I? Do I? I've forgotten. Do tell me how! 
Come now, give me a lesson. 

[Taking her hand and kissing it. 



Jo! Jo! 



Lady V. 

[They are in a somewhat embarrassed posi- 
tion when Mrs. Knapman enters. 4 



Mrs. K. 

I beg pardon, my lady. 

' 34 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Lady V. 
What is it ? 

Mrs. K. 
Mr. and Mrs Tavender are in the hall. 

Lady V. 

Oh— show them in. 1 [Exit Mrs. Knapman.] 
What can have brought them here at this time in 
the morning ? 2 

Enter 3 Mr. and Mrs. Tavender, shown in 
by Mrs. Knapman. Tavender is a short, 
stout, sandy, florid, good-natured man of 
thirty-live. Mrs. Tavender is a frivolous, ir- 
responsible, empty-headed, chattering little 
creature of twenty-five. They both show evi- 
dent surprise at seeing Sir Joseph, and stand 
at the doorway in an embarrassed way.* 

Lady V. [Going up to her.] 

Cissy, this is a surprise. [Shaking hands with her.] 
Harry, how are you ? 

Tav. 

Thanks; flourishing. 

[Stands in doorway. 

Lady V. 
Come in — what's the matter? 5 

Mrs. T. 

Nothing, dear; if you're engaged 

[Embarrassed. 



Lady V. 
Not at all. [To Mrs. Knapman.] Why didn't 
you announce Mr. and Mrs. Tavender in the or- 
dinary way, and show them in? 

35 



1 Mrs. K. opens 

door showing 
Mr, and Mrs. 
Tavender 
standing out- 
side. 

2 Lady V. rises 
and goes down 
l. Sir J. rises 
and goes down 
R. to fireplace 
leaving the 
two chairs 
close together 
by breakfast 
table. 

8 At back. 



* Mrs. K. gets 
near door R. 



B Mrs. T. gives 
an embarrass- 
ed laugh. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Mrs. K. 

I beg pardon, my lady. I understood you to say 
last night you didn't wish it to be known you are 
in town. 

[Looks exchanged between Tavender and 
Mrs. Tavender. Exit Mrs. Knap- 
man. 1 There is an air of restraint 
and embarrassment all through the fol- 
lowing scene. Long pause. 2 



Right. 



* Sir J. goes up 

R. C. 



' Sir J. returns 

to R. 

* Mrs. T. comes 
down R. c. Air. 
T. follows on 
her r. they 
both give a sus- 
picious glance 
at tlie table 
la id for break- 
fast and the 
two chairs 
close together 
Lady V. see- 
ing them look 
says very 
quickly" Have 
you had break- 
fast ? " when 
she says this 
they both start 
and speak to- 
gether. 



Sir J. 

How d'ye do, Mrs. Tavender? 
[Shaking hands. 

Mrs. T. 
How are you, Sir Joseph? 

Sir J. [To Tavender.] 

How are you, Tavender? 
[Shaking hands. 

Tav. 
Thanks, flourishing. And you? 



Splendid. 



Sit down, Cissy, 
fast? 



Sir J. 
[A little pause of embarrassment. 3 

Lady V. 
Harry ! 4 Have you had break- 

Tav. 



Oh yes! 



Oh yes, dear. 

[Together. 



Mrs. T. 



Slight pause. 



36 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Lady V. 

Then sit down. 1 What has brought you up at this 
hour? 

[Tavender and Mrs. Tavender sit down 
in an embarrassed zvay. 



Tav. 
You haven't heard from Hardolph? 

Lady V. 
No. Nothing has happened? 

Tav. 



Oh no ! Oh no ! 



Oh no, at least- 



Mrs. T. 



[Together. Slight pause. 

Lady V. 
My dear Cissy, is anything the matter? 

Tav. 



No. 
No. 



Mrs. T. 



Tav. 



You know that Hardolph is coming from Scot- 
land 



No. When? 



Lady V. 



Tav. 



This morning. He reaches Saint Pancras at ten. 

Lady V. 

Oh ! I hadn't the least idea. What's bringing him 
to town? 

37 



1 The 'Lavenders 
exchange un- 
comfortable 
glances and 
very slowly sit 
down . Mr s. 
Taz>ender in 
the arm chair 
L. and c. and 
Tavender on 
the extreme 
edge of Lady 
V.'s chair at 
breakfast table 
Lady V. sits 
on chair by 
desk L. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Tav. 

The Chilling-ham trustee business. We had to meet 
and sign a heap of deeds. Hardolph wired me to 
Weybridge last night to meet him here a little after 
ten this morning and as Cissy had a few things to 
do in town l 



1 Half rising, 
with appeal- 
ing glances to 
Mrs Taven- 
der. 

t Rising. 

* T av e n d e r 
rises. 



* Tavender sits 
again. 



5 Rising again. 



• T a v. r ises, 
Lady V. rises, 
Tav. goes up 



7 Mrs. T. gives 
an embarras- 
sed laugh. 



cet 



Mrs. T. 2 

I think we'd better be going, 3 or I shan't 
through before lunch. 

Lady V. 

Oh, don't hurry away. 4 Why didn't Hardolph let 
me know he was coming up? 

Tav. 

I don't suppose he knew himself till yesterday after- 
noon. To-day was the only day the judge could 
give us, and as it was August nobody was in town ; 
so we've had to telegraph everywhere to get the 
trustees and lawyers together. 

Mrs. T. 5 

Harry, I must be at Fifine's at ten, and you must 
help me to choose the colors 

Tav. 

Of course, dear. 6 By Jove [pulling out watch] , I 
shall only just have time to get back here and meet 
Hardolph. 7 

[Sir Joseph has been quietly watching the 
scene, standing and leaning against 
mantelpiece. He now comes a little 
forward. 

Sir J. 

My dear Tavender, it's very evident that you and 
Mrs. Tavender are a little surprised to find me here 
breakfasting with Lady Verona. 
33 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Tav. 
Not at all, my dear fellow. 

Mrs. T. 
Not at all. At this time of year, when nobody's in 
town, its quite nice for old friends to run uo 
against each other and— and * Harry! 

Tav. 
I assure you, we think nothing of it. 

Mrs. T. 

Why of course it's the most natural thing in the 
world. Now, Harry ! 2 & 

Sir J. 
No—just a moment, please. Now that the matter 
eh S Lad" Veef ^"^ ^"^ ^ h ° W k ha PP ened - 

Lady V. 
Oh yes-it's really most ridiculous. I came from 
Oxfordshire last evening quite unexpectedly I 
hadnt the least idea that Sir Joseph was in town 

Mrs. T. 
Of course not. How should you? 

Tav. 
I assure you we— a— [stops, confused, and looks at 
his wife] don t intend to take the least notice of it. 

Mrs. T. 
It's just one of those things that are constantly 
occurring; and then if by any chance it leaks out 
people begin to gossip and put the wrong interpre- 
tation on it. F 

39 



1 L o o k ing at 
Tavender. 



2 Both start to 
go up c. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Sir J. [Very sternly.] 

People must not put the wrong interpretation on it 
in this instance. So I'll give you the exact partic- 
ulars 

Tav. 



My dear Jo, you needn't trouble — 

Sir J. [Firmly.] 
Yes, if you please 

Tav. 
Well, if you insist 



Mrs. T. 
But we aren't the least curious 

Sir J. 

I came up to town last night from Devonshire, and 
lost all my luggage. My club was closed for clean- 
ing, and I happened to be passing that window 
about a quarter to eleven. 
[Pointing to window. 



Mrs. T. 



That window, there? 



Sir J. 



Yes. Knapman was leaning out of it. Knapman 
is a very old servant of my father's. 

Mrs. T. 

How very natural he should be leaning out of the 
window ! 

Sir J. 

Yes. Well, I was dead tired, and when Knapman 
offered to put me up for the night, I simply jumped 
at the idea! 

40 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Tav. 

I should have jumped at it myself. Ta-ta. 
[Offering to go. 

Lady V. 

Of course when Knapman offered to put Sir Joseph 
up for the night, he hadn't the least idea I was in 
town. 

Mrs. T. 

Of course not. It's exactly similar to another case 
we know of — isn't it, Harry? 

Tav. 

Yes — yes, 1 I'll just run round with you to Fifine's 
and be back here to meet Hardolph. [Signifi- 
cantly.] He'll be here about a quarter past ten. 

Mrs. T. 
Good-bye, Sir Joseph ; Good-bye, Vee. 

Tav. 
Bye, bye, Jo; ta-ta, Vee. 

[Hurries off. 2 Sir Joseph and Lady Ver- 
ona left alone, look at each other and 
then laugh at each other. 

Sir J. 

They evidently believe that you and I met here by 
appointment. 

Lady V. 

Evidently. And she's such a silly gossiping crea- 
ture. 3 

Sir J. 

Shall I wait and see Hardolph ? 

Lady V. 

No. Hardolph is awfully difficult at times — and 
with you 

4i 



1 Both go up to 
door c. 



2 A t back with 
Mrs. T. 



3 Crosses to r. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



1 Moves a step to 



Puts tier hat 
on. 



Goes up c. and 
stands L. of 
door. 



4 Lady V. goes 
up c. to door. 

6 At back. 



Back from r. 



Comes down to 
L. C. 



Why with me? 



Sir. J. 1 



Lady V. 



Well, you aren't exactly the man a husband would 
choose to find breakfasting with his wife. 

Sir J. 

No, I suppose not. [Suddenly takes out watch.} 
Quarter to ten ! I've got it ! You must take a cab 
and meet Hardolph at Saint Pancras before he sees 
the Tavenders; tell him exactly how it happened 
and come on here with him. 



Shall I have time ? 2 



Lady V. 



Sir J. 



Yes, if you make haste. The train's sure to be a 
few minutes late. I'll put you in a cab. 3 



And you 



Lady V. 



Sir J. 



I'm going on to the club to see if my luggage has 
turned up; I'll come back here and meet you and 
Hardolph. I'm sure that's the best ! make haste ! 4 

[Exeunt Sir Joseph and Lady Verona. 5 
A pause. 

Mrs. Knapman cautiously peeps out of door, right, 
sees that no one is in the room, enters, goes to 
window, opens the sash; looks out. Knapman 
enters. 6 

Knap. 

They've gone off together 7 



No. 
alone 



Mrs. K. 
He's put her into a cab and she's drove off 

[Again looks out of windozv. 
42 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Knap. 



What's he doing? 



Mrs. K. 

He's walking off in his usual careless manner. 
He's turned into Piccadilly. 

[Withdraws from window. 

Knap. 1 

Didn't you say Mr. Tavender told you the master 
is coming up from Scotland this morning? 

Mrs. K. 2 

Yes, I was standing at the front door when Mr. and 
Mrs. Tavender came up. " Good-morning, Mrs. 
Knapman," he says; "I've come up to see Mr. 
Mayne;" "He's in Scotland," I says. "No," he 
says, " he'll be here a little after ten, so I'll just step 
inside and wait for him." Well, I didn't know 
what to do, because last night her ladyship says, 
" Don't mention anything about Lady Joyce and 
me being up in town," she says. So I says to Mr. 
Tavender, " I beg pardon, but her ladyship is now 
at breakfast in the morning-room. I'll inquire 
whether it's convenient for her to see you." 3 



Knap. 4 



inr 1 5 



Looks very peculiar ! 



What's the matter? 



Mrs. K. 



Knap. 

Mr. and Mrs. Tavender have come back again. 6 
[A knock at outer door. Exit Knapman] 7 
Mrs. Knapman stands in a listening 
attitude for a second, she goes off very 
gently? on tiptoe, closing the door after 
her softly. 

43 



3 Goes to r. c. 



4 Going to win- 
dow. 

5 Puts his head 
out of the win- 
dow and sud- 
denly w ith- 
draws it, snap- 
ping his fin- 
gers at Mrs. 
A", as a cau- 
tion to her to 
get out of the 
way. 

6 Motions Mr s. 
K. to go off R. 

7 At back. 



Right. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



1 At tack. 



2 Comes r. 



* Attack. 



6 Sits in arm 
chair L. C. 



Enter 1 Mr. and Mrs. Tavender, followed by 

Knapman. 

Tav. 2 
Lady Verona has driven off, you say? 

Knap. 3 

Yes, sir, in an hansom. 

Mrs. T. 4 
And Sir Joseph? 

Knap. 

Sir Joseph put her ladyship into the cab, and then 
walked off by himself. 

[Tavender and Mrs. Tavender exchange 
glances. 

Tav. 

Oh, very well. We'll wait here for Mr. Mayne. 

Knap. 
Yes, sir. 

[Exit Knapman. 5 Left alone, the Tav- 
enders look at each other. 

Mrs. T. 
Well ! who could have thought it ? 6 

Tav. [Grinning and chuckling.] 
I can't believe it ! I can't believe it ! 

Mrs. T. 

They've always been very much attached to each 
other, and Sir Joseph is horribly fascinating. 

Tav. 

Oh, I wouldn't trust Jo Lacy with my grandmother. 
[Grins, chuckles, and then bursts into a fit of laugh- 

44 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



ter.] 1 But Vee— ! I couldn't have imagined that 
Vee would — well ! well ! well ! 

Mrs. T. 

One never knows. What convinced me was the 
stupid way they would keep on trying to excuse 
themselves. 

Tav. 
Oh that was d— ee— d silly of Jo. An old hand 
like him ought to know how to hold his tongue. 
And such an absurd story, too ! Lost his luggage ! 
Leaning out of that window ! 

Mrs. T. 
Oh, it was too ridiculous. 
[Laughs. 

Tav. 
But she played her part very well. 

Mrs. T. 

My dear Harry! Anyone could see through her in 
a moment. Now, Sir Joseph passed it off very well 
indeed. From his manner you might almost have 
thought he was telling the truth. 

Tav. 
Oh, no! Jo wasn't at all up to his usual form. 

Mrs. T. 

Well, I'm glad we gave them the chance of slipping 
away. 

Tav. 

Yes! you see they cleared out the moment we'd 
gone. 

Mrs. T. 

I never felt so awkward in my life, not even when 

45 



Goes to mirror 
•which is hang- 
ing on wall r., 
looks at him- 
self in it, 
smooths his 
hair, gr ins 
and then comes 
to l. of table 
R. and sits. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



I found your cousin Jack kissing Lady Henry in 
the harness room. 



1 Drags his chair 
nearer to Mrs. 
T. 



1 Rises futs his 
chair back to 
table ami cros- 
ses to desk 
down L. 



* At writing- 
table below 
window. 



Tav. 1 

Yes, that harness room row reminds me — [Very 
solemnly.] Now, Cissy, you'll hold your tongue 
about this? 

Mrs. T. 
Of course I shall. 

Tav. 

Not a word to Hardolph about Vee being up in 
town. 

Mrs. T. 

Of course not. But if Hardolph should find out 
that we knew — he is your cousin 

Tav. 

I can't help that. I've got too many cousins to look 
after all their wives. Perhaps you'd better send a 

line to Vee 2 

[Rising and going dozen to desk. 

Mrs. T. 



What about? 



Tav. 



Hardolph will be here in a moment. Make haste 
and get it written before he comes. [He places 
chair for her 3 she scats herself and writes. Dictat- 
ing.] " My dear Vee. Harry thinks I'd better send 
you a line to say that neither he nor I shall mention 
a word about meeting you this morning to any- 
one " 



Mrs. T. [Having written."] 



" Anyone 



Tav. 



Underline "anyone." 
46 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Mrs. T. [Writing.] 

" With love, Cissy." 

Tav. 

There! that gives her a free hand to tell Hardolph 
or not as she pleases. 

Mrs. T. 
Where shall I address it? 

Tav. 
Oh, Oxfordshire, I suppose. 1 

Mrs. Knapman enters, right. 

Mrs. K. 
I beg pardon 

Tav. 

Did Lady Verona leave word whether she was 
coming back this morning? 



No, sir. 2 



Mrs. K. 



Tav. 



Do you know where she has gone? 
Mrs. K. 

Her ladyship intended to go to Oxfordshire by the 
half-past ten train. 

Tav. 

Then I suppose she has gone. 3 Now a stamp. 4 
Will you please see that this letter is posted this 
morning ? 

Mrs. K. 
Yes, sir. 5 

Tav. [He stamps letter and gives it to Mrs. 
Knapman.] 

It's very important. 

47 



1 Goes to C 



1 Coming- down 



8 Goes to Mrs. 
Tavender and 
and gets letter. 

4 Takes a stamp 
out of his 
purse. 

5 Comes to c. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



1 Is going off*. 



Mrs. K. 
Yes, sir. 1 I beg pardon, sir 

Tav. 
Well? 

Mrs. K. 

Last night when her ladyship arrived she said she 

didn't wish it to be mentioned she was up in town. 

[Mr. and Mrs. Tavender exchange looks. 

Tav. 
Then of course you won't mention it. 

Mrs. K. 

Of course not, sir — we know our duty, but — 
[Stands a little embarrassed, looking at letter.] Of 
course we shan't mention it — of course not ! 
[Exit. 2 

Enter 3 Hardolph Mayne, an ordinary English 
gentleman of thirty-live in travelling clothes; 
he is followed by Knapman; Mrs. Knapman 
puts letter in her pocket.* 

Mayne. 

Ah, my dear Harry, here you are ! Cissy, how are 
you? 

[Shaking hands zvith Mrs. Tavender. 

Mrs. T. 
How are you, Hardolph? 

Mayne. 

Whew! This heat is awful. How are you, 
Harry ? 5 

Tav. 

Thanks. Flourishing ! 
48 



a Door, right. 
8 At back. 



Mayne comes 
down 



6 Shaking hands 
•with Taven- 
der. 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Mayne. [To Knap.] 
Has any telegram come for me? 

Knap. 

No, sir. 

Mayne. 
[Taking off his summer overcoat.] Take this and 
give it a brush. [To Mr. and Mrs. Tavender.] 
I rather thought Vee might come up. 

[Knapman shows surprise at Mayne' s 
remark, takes overcoat and hat from 
Mayne, 1 listening to following conver- 
sation. 

Mrs. T. 2 
Does she expect you ? 

Mayne. 3 

Well, when I found I should have to be in town 
to-day I wired her to come up if she could. She's 
in Oxfordshire with her people you know 



Tav. 4 
Yes 

Mrs. T. 
Yes 

Mayne. 
I haven't seen her for a fortnight. And as we 
parted with a little tiff I thought she might be glad 
of the chance of making it up, eh ? 

[With a little laugh, 

Tav. 
Yes. 

Mrs. T. 
Naturally. 

Mayne. 

So I told her to wire me here, and I'd meet her 

49 



1 And goes ojff 
slowly at back. 



a Exchan g in g 
look with Tav- 
ender. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



somewhere and give her some lunch. And she 
hasn't even taken the trouble to reply ! 

Tav. No? 

> [Together] 

Mrs. T. No ! J 

[Exchanging looks with Tavender* 

Mayne. 

Ah, well, after eight years of married life I suppose 
we mustn't expect these delicate little attentions 
from our wives, eh, Harry? 



1 Mayne goes to 
r. taking out 
his pocket-book 
and glancing 
at letters, etc. 

* Goes up r. 



* Crosses to c. 



* Door, right ; 
leaving door 
open, they 

■watch him off. 



Tav. 
We don't get them, do we? x 

Mayne. 2 

To come seventy miles to take a simple meal with 
your husband — rather a severe strain on your wifely 
affection, eh, Cissy? [Tavender glances at table. 

Mrs. T. 3 

Oh I feel sure Vee hasn't got your telegram, or 
there has been some mistake. 

Mayne. 

Well, she's coming down to Scotland next week. 
And I've got no time to spare. Confounded nui- 
sance this bothering business! Haslip has got his 
big shoot on to-morrow, and if I don't catch the 
two o'clock from Euston I shall be out of it. Now 
if I bustle about I shall just get through. Let me 
see — these trustee papers — where are they? Oh 
yes, in my secretary in the next room [Exit. 4 

Mrs. T. 

You see ! He hasn't the least suspicion. 
50 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Tav. 

No. Now, my dear Cissy, you will hold your 
tongue this time? 

Mrs. T. 

My dear Harry, take care of your own tongue 
when you get in that club smoking-room. But I 
really think somebody should caution Vee, don't 
you? 

Tav. 

No! No! If there's going to be a scandal do let 
us keep out of it. Remember that awful harness- 
room row. — Now, Cissy, you will take care. — 
Hush! 

Mayne re-enters, 1 with a bundle of legal documents 
in his hand. Knapman enters, 2 with Mayne' s 
hat and overcoat. 

Mayne. 
Now, Harry, are you ready ? 3 

Tav. 
Quite. Cissy, we'll pop you into a cab 

Mrs. T. 

Very well. And you'll meet me at Waterloo at 
four o'clock? 

Tav. 
Right. 

Mayne. 4 

\To Knapman.] No, I'll carry it on my arm. 

[Taking overcoat.] 
Knap. 
Shall you require your room to be prepared, sir? 
Mayne. 

No, I'm not coming back. Send on my letters as 

5i 



1 Right. 
» At back. 



3 Mayne comes to 
c. from R. 
Knapman 
/lands him his 
hat then goes 
behind Mayne 
to Mayne 1 s R. 
holding the 
overcoat ready 
for him to put 



* During May- 
ne' 's tines with 
Knapman 
Mrs. T. has bu- 
siness "with Ta- 
vender, taking 
her purse out 
and a s king 
Ta v. for 
change, etc. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



usual. Now, Harry! I do think Vee might have 
come up. 

Mrs. T. 

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it * 



1 Goes up to door 



* At back. 



Rigid. 



* Leaves door 
open. 



Mayne. 
No, but still — Not quite kind of her, eh? 

Tav. 

Come along! We mustn't keep old Justice Bonsar 

waiting. 

[Hurrying Mayne off. 2 Mrs. Tavender 
has gone off. Knapman lias listened 
to the conversation and follows them 
off. 

Mrs. Knapman enters, 5 and begins clearing away 
the breakfast things. Re-enter Knapman, 
stands in the centre of room, in a very puzzled 
attitude. 4 

Knap. 

I can't get the hang of it. 

Mrs. K. 
The hang of what? 

Knap. 

When her ladyship arrived last night, what was her 
manner ? 

Mrs. K. 

Well, both she and Lady Joyce had a flurried look. 

Knap. 

Innocent flurried? Or fishy flurried? 

Mrs. K. 

There was something peculiar about it. 

52 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Knap. 

Eliza, I'm afraid this is all a put-up job of Sir 
Joseph's. 

Mrs. K. 
Think so? 

Knap. 

Her ladyship's first word to me this morning was, 
"How's your mother? I'll send her some old 
linen. Tell her to let me know if there's anything 
she wants." That was as much as to bribe me for 
holding my tongue. 

Mrs. K. 
Master don't suspect anything? 

Knap. 
Not a word. He's as innocent as a baby. 

Mrs. K. 
What had we better do? 

Knap. 

Keep our mouths shut. He's a good master; and 
apart from this aberration of conduct Lady Verona 
is a good mistress. We've no right to wreck their 
married happiness by letting on. 

Mrs. K. 

I sha'n't say a word, but I wouldn't answer for you 
when you get round at the " Lord Palmerston." 

Knap. 

I never betray the secrets of my family, and don't 
you. But I'm sorry. Just Sir Joseph's old games! 
Lost his luggage! Drops in as if by accident! 
And only last night he told me as he's left off all his 
youthful sprees ! Lost his luggage ! 

53 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



1 At back. 



8 Goes down I.. 
and puis his 
hat and slick 
on desk. 



8 Looks at Mrs. 
K. 



• At back. 



B Coming down 
L. c. 



Sir Joseph enters hurriedly. 1 

Sir J. 

Oh, Knapman, I found the front door open and I 
came in. 2 

Knap. 
Yes, Sir Joseph. 

Sir J. 
My lug-gage has turned up. 

Knap. [Severely. ] 
I'm gla^ t0 near ft> Sir Joseph. 3 

Sir J. 
Yes, got it all safe at Victoria. 

Knap. [Same severe tone.] 
That must be a great relief, sir. 

Sir J. 
Has her ladyship returned yet? 

Knap. 
No, Sir Joseph. Here is her ladyship. 

Lady Verona enters. 4 

Sir J. 
Well? 

Lady V. 5 

My cab got blocked and the train was in before I 
got there. 

Sir J. 

Then you've missed him? 

Lady V. 

Has Mr. Mayne arrived? 

54 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Yes, my lady. 
Where is he? 



Knap. 

Lady V. 

Knap. 



He has gone off again. 

Lady V. 



Where? 



Knap. 



I don't know, my lady ; but he said he wasn't re- 
turning here. So I expect he has gone back to 
Scotland. 1 

Mrs. K. 
Didn't you tell him I was here? 

Knap. 

No, my lady; he was in such a hurry, I never got 
a chance of informing him. [Exit. 2 

Mrs. K. 3 

My lady, here is a letter that Mrs. Tavender asked 
me to post your ladyship. 

Lady V. 
Oh, very well. [Takes letter, reads it. Exit Mrs. 
Knapman. 4 Lady Verona reads letter, shows in- 
dignation—hands it to Sir Joseph, zvho takes it 
and reads it. Watching him.] You see! She 
actually imagines that I — oh— how dare she! I 
must write her 5 

Sir J. 

No. She's a foolish little woman. You'll only 
make matters worse if you're angry with her. I 
wonder what has become of Hardolph ? 6 

55 



1 Sir J. goes to 
•window. 



2 At back. 



3 Mrs. K. comes 
behind table R. 
toe. 



6 Crosses to desk 



8 Goes to R. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Lady V. 
I suppose he has gone back to Scotland. 

Sir J. 

You must send him a history of the whole affair by 
to-night's post. I'll write him too. 

Lady V. [Quickly.] 1 



* Coming L. C. 



» Takes Utter 
front him. 



8 Pushes Sir J. 
away fr o in 
her into L. C. 
of stage and 
then backs up 
above window 
holding the 
curtains a lit- 
tle in/ront of 
her. 



No — no— he wouldn't understand it coming from 



you. 
Why not? 



Sir J. 



Lady V. 



Because he — he wouldn't. 2 No, I'm going to Har- 
dolph next week. And I'll explain everything the 
first suitable opportunity. But that horrid little 
Cissy ! 

[She has unconsciously approached the window. 

Sir J. [Following her tenderly.] 

Vee, I should never forgive myself if any harm 
came to you through me. You know how deeply 
I 

Lady V. 3 

Keep away from that window ! 

Sir J. 
What's the matter? 

Lady V. 
There's that dreadful woman again. 



Who? 



Sir J. 



Lady V. 



Mrs. Pakenham. She lives opposite ; she's the most 
56 



SC II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



spiteful old creature. She saw you putting me into 
the cab just now and I could see from her look that 
she suspected 



What? 



Sir J. 
Lady V*. 



Oh, I don't know ! The worst ! That sort of per- 
son always does. And I've cut her so persistently! 
She'll only be too pleased to get a chance of making 
mischief about me. 

Sir J. 

[Unconsciously approaching zvindow.] I can't tell 
you how sorry I am 

Lady V. [Calls out alarmed.] 

Keep away from the window ; don't let her see you. 
Jo, you don't think anything serious will come of 
this? 

Sir J. 1 

How can it ? But be sure you let Hardolph know. 

Lady V. 

Oh, I will, the first suitable opportunity. [Has 
crept to the window; peeps out from behind cur- 
tains.] She's there still. I'm sure she's watching 
this house. 

Sir J. 

What are you going to do now ? 

Lady V. 

I must get back to Oxfordshire. 2 I shall just catch 
the eleven-fifteen. What are yon going to do ? 

Sir J. 

I'm off to Switzerland by the seven from Victoria. 3 
I'll put you in a cab. 4 

57 



1 Goes to c 



! Goes to c. 



s Taking out 
■watch. 

* A bout to go up 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. II 



Lady V. 

No — you mustn't be seen coming out from this 
house with me 

Sir J. 

You're getting into a panic. 

Lady V. 

Yes, I am ! I must try to steady myself. I'll go 
quietly out, and you stay here. 1 

Sir J. 

Yes. But I've only just time to catch my train, 
and 2 

Lady V. 

You don't wish to compromise me, do you? 

Sir J. 
You shouldn't ask that. 3 

Lady V. 
Then wait here at least five minutes after I've gone. 



1 Goes up to c. a 

little. 



3 Gels a f e w 
steps R. 



3 Comi7tg to c. 



4 Goes up to door 
c. Joseph fol- 
loius on her r. 



Sir J. 
Oh, but 

Lady V. 

Yes, please. Good-bye. 

Sir J. 
Good-bye. 

[He takes her hand, and snatches the glove 
which is in her left hand; kisses her 
hand very tenderly. 

Lady V. 4 

Jo, you are incorrigible. Now, Jo, you won't leave 
here till the hand of that clock points ten minutes 
to eleven. Promise me! 
58 



SC. II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT I 



Sir J. 

Ten minutes to eleven. I promise. 

[Exit Lady Verona. 1 Left alone, he sits, 
shows signs of great impatience; 2 looks 
at his watch, looks at the clock? kisses 
her glove, puts it in his pocket, rises 
again, stamps his feet, inadvertently 
goes to the window; stands there a mo- 
ment, starts suddenly back from it. 



1 At back. 

2 Goes down. 



3 Moves R. c. 



Sir J. 
There's that damned old woman again! 

[Knapman has entered? to see his movement. 

Knap. 

Anything the matter, Sir Joseph? 

Sir J. 



No. E 



[Knapman regards him curiously for a mo- 
ment or tzvo. 



Knap. 
Anything I can do for you, sir? 

Sir J. 

No — no — [Knapman is withdrawing at back.] 
Yes ! [Taking a luggage ticket out of his waistcoat 
pocket.] My luggage is in the cloak-room at Vic- 
toria. Here's the ticket ! Will you take a cab, get 
it out and register the two big portmanteaux for 
Lucerne ? 

Knap. 

Yes, Sir Joseph. Lucerne. 

[Going off, stops, looks at Sir Joseph 
curiously. 
59 



* At back. 



6 Crosses to down 
R. and then 
turns. 



ACT I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. II 



Sir J. 
Quick, my good fellow, you've no time to lose! 

[Knapman goes off l with the luggage 
ticket, looking very much perplexed at 
Sir Joseph. Sir Joseph again left 
alone, gets more impatient, walks to 
desk, takes up his hat, walks backwards 
and forwards, muttering, " Oh, con- 
found and curse the thing." takes the 
clock down, puts it on table, shakes fist 
at it, picks it up, shakes it, puts it down 
again, walks to desk and picks up his 
stick, zvalks back again, muttering, 
stamping 



curtain. 



60 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Sir J. [Turns round on the library chair.] 

Then I suppose we may consider ourselves com- 
fortably settled in, eh? 

Stad. 

Yes, I suppose, Sir Joseph. And if I may say so, 
I'm very glad to be back in our own quarters again. 



* Rises and goes 
to fireplace. 



8 Goes up c. to 
desk. 



8 Stad. goes up 
to him. 



* Giving Sir 
Joseph the 
book. 



B Taking book. 



Sir. J. 1 

So am I, Staddon. [Looking at invitation cards.] 
Lady Jervis — Mrs. Enderby 

Stad. 

I beg pardon, Sir Joseph, you told me to remind 
you that you dine with Professor Tofield to-mor- 
row night. 

Sir J. 

Ah, yes, and a damned dull time I'm going to have 
with his fogies. Very well, Staddon, we'll dine 2 
with the Professor to-morrow night; [making a 
note in engagement-book] we'll tick him off and 
then we'll begin to enjoy ourselves. 

Stad. 

I beg pardon, Sir Joseph, but I suppose you intend 
to continue your Friday dinners? 

[Taking a cellar-book out of his pocket. 

Sir J. 
Yes, of course, Staddon. 3 

Stad. 

Because if you'll look over the cellar-book, 4 you'll 
find we're getting a little short of some of our 
special wines. 



Ninety-two Clicquot. 
62 



Sir J. b 
Only six bottles. 



I wonder 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



' Sits at desk. 

2 Gives book back 
to Staddon. 

3 Giving Stad- 
d on about 
tiu e n ty ad- 
dressed envel- 
opes "which 
have been ly- 
ing on the 
•writing-desk. 



if there's any more of that to be got. We must keep 
up our reputation, Staddon. 

Stad. 

Well, Sir Joseph, we've always managed to do so 
up to the present. 

Sir J. 

I think we have, Staddon. 1 I think we have ! 2 
That reminds me: here are the invitations for the 
first two dinner parties. 3 And, Staddon, I'm think- 
ing of giving a few little Sunday luncheons as well. 
I shall want your help to make them a success. 

Stad. 
I think you may rely upon me, Sir Joseph. 

Sir J. 

I'm sure I may. Now I'm back in town I intend to 
see a good deal of my friends, and I intend my 
friends to see a good deal of me. 

Stad. 

I'm sure, Sir Joseph, all your friends will be very 
pleased so to do. Then we shall remain in town 
for the entire winter? 

Sir. J. 4 

Yes, I think. After all, London's the only place fit 
to live in. 5 

Stad. 

Exactly the remark I was making to Mrs. Trabb 
this morning. I said, " London's good enough for 
me," I said; and I added " I trust I'm good enough 
for London;" and she replied," I sincerely trust 
you are, Mr. Staddon." 

Sir J. 

A very excellent sentiment on the part of Mrs. 

63 



* Rises. 



5 Comes down c. 
and leans on 
back of chair 
R. of table. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Trabb. Yes, very well, Staddon, I hope we shall 
prove ourselves worthy citizens of London town 
for the next few months. Post those invitations. 1 



1 Goes up to win- 
dow. 



a Lower door. 



Stad. 

Yes, Sir Joseph. [Exit 2 

[Left alone Sir Joseph goes back to desk 
picks up from amongst the litter, the 
glove which he had taken from Lady 
Verona in the Urst act, looks at it 
fondly, kisses it, takes up a letter from 
the desk, reads it. 

" My dear Jo, 

" You need not trouble any further about 
our little adventure. It has quite blown over; and 
Hardolph, like a dear good sensible husband, has 
said nothing further about it. We got back to Sa- 
ville Street last evening, and shall stay here till 
Christmas. When do you get back to town? Let 
us know, and come and dine with us some evening. 
But please say nothing to Hardolph about your 
breakfast in Saville Street, as if you mention it he 
might attach some importance to it. 

" With kindest regards, [S/g/w.] 
" Your affectionate mother, 
" Vee." 

[He kisses the letter; kisses the glove. He 
hastily puts letter in pocket and throws 
glove to desk; it misses desk and falls 
on the side, where it remains. He then 
goes down to settee, settles himself 
comfortably in it, and says half under 
his breath : 

Sir J. 
That's all right, now I'm going to have a damned 

64 



good time 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Enter Staddon/ showing in Gerald Fanmere, a 
weak, amiable, fussy little man, about thirty. 
Staddon announces — " Mr. Fanmere." 

[Exit Staddon. 2 

Sir J. [Advancing very cordially.] 

r Ah, my dear Fanny ! Delighted to see you! How's 
Lady Joyce? 

Fan. 

Joyce is in the country. I've wired her to come up 
about this wretched business. 3 



Wretched business? ! 



Sir J. 



Fan. 



Now, my dear Jo, if anything is to be done, it must 
be done at once, before it's too late. Have you 
anything to propose? 



Sir J. 



With regard to what? 

Fan. 

It's useless to beat about the bush. Hardolph knows 
everything ! 

Sir J. 
Yes, of course he does. 

Fan. 

Well? 

Sir J. 

Well? well? well? Like a sensible husband he's 
taking no notice of it. 

Fan. 

Taking no notice of it! He's raging like a mad- 
man. 

65 



1 Lower door. 



8 Lower door. 



8 Crosses to R. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Sir J. 
What's he doing that for? 

Fan. 

Well wouldn't you, under the circumstances? I 
know I should. He's threatening every moment 
to go to Cattermoul. 1 



1 Gets on settee 



* Drops into 

settee. 



s Sits by hint. 



* Leans back. 



Who's Cattermoul? 



His lawyer. 



Sir J. 



Fan. 



Sir J. 



Will you please tell me what has happened? 

Fan. 

The day before yesterday Jermyn Pyecroft was 
telling a couple of fellows the whole story in the 
smoking-room of the New Carlton; and just as he 
came to the spicy part of it 

Sir J. 
Excuse me. What do 3 you call the spicy part ? 

Fan. 

About your losing your luggage and begging a 
shake-down for the night. 4 Damned silly story 
that, Jo ! 

Sir J. 
You think so? 

Well, isn't it? 
Go on. 



Fan. 
Sir J. 
Fan. 



Well, all the time Hardolph was sitting in a big 
armchair with his back to them; and just as Pye- 
66 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



croft came to the point where Harry Tavender gave 
you the tip that Hardolph was coming up from 
Scotland that morning 

Sir J. 

Harry Tavender gave me the tip that 

Fan. 

My dear Jo, you don't deny Tavender did give you 

the tip 

Sir J. 



Go on. 



Fan. 



Just then, up jumps Hardolph from behind his 
paper and says, " Pyecroft, perhaps you'll be good 
enough to tell me the remainder of this story at 
my own house." Tableau ! 

Sir J. 

But Lady Verona told Hardolph all about it directly 

she got down to Scotland 

[Drawing Lady Verona's letter from his 
pocket 1 and glancing at it. 

Fan. [Much annoyed.] 

My dear Jo, what is the use of telling me a silly 
tarradiddle like this? Hardolph knew nothing 
about it till the day before yesterday. 

Sir J. 2 
Are you sure? 

[Glancing at Lady Verona's letter and put- 
ting it back in his pocket, puzzled. 

Fan. [Getting more and more irritated.] 
Am I sure? Is it likely that Vee would tell him of 
her own account? Is it likely 3 

Sir J. 
Surely Mayne doesn't imagine 

6 7 



But good heaven ! 
that 



1 Fan. rises and 
goes to c. 



2 Rises. 



3 Coming back to 
him R. C. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Taps him in a 
quiet, frie?idly 
way on the 
shoulder. 



* Drops into set- 
tee- 



3 Starting off to 



1 Stopping him. 
Fan. runs over 
L. c. after hint. 



5 Brings Sir J. 
back to c. 



Fan. 1 

My clear Jo, this story is being repeated every- 
where, all over the town 



What! 2 



Sir J. 



Fan. 



So it's no use to play the innocent martyr. Every- 
thing's known. All you've got to do is to own up, 
and see whether we can pull poor Vee out of the 
fire. 

Sir J. 

Certainly Lady Verona must be saved at all costs. 
At all costs ! 

Fan. 
Yes, I daresay! What are you going to do? 

Sir J. 3 

Do? Go straight across to Mayne to tell him not 
to make an ass of himself. 

Fan. 4 

Are you mad? You mustn't go near him till I've 
smoothed things down. 



Why not? 



Sir J. 



Fan. e 



He's in a frantic state, pacing up and down the 
drawing-room like a caged tiger, swearing one mo- 
ment he'll kill you, and the next that he'll take the 
whole matter to Cattermoul. 



And Lady Verona? 



Sir J. 



Fan. 



Vee's in just as desperate a state downstairs; de- 
68 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Glaring she's innocent; saying she'll leave Hardolph; 
going into hysterics. Oh, they're having some very 
high jinks in Saville Street to-day, I assure you. 

Sir J. 

But what are people saying? * Who started it? I 
suppose I may thank Harry Tavender and his wife 
for this 

Fan. 

You may thank yourself, my dear Jo, but the Tav- 
enders have done their little best to get the story 
known everywhere. 

Sir J. 

But good heavens ! 2 It's monstrous ! I 

Enter Staddon, 3 showing in Professor Tofield, 
a stout, pompons, aggressive man of seventy- 
five, with large gold spectacles. Staddon an- 
nounces—" Professor Tofield." 

Sir. J. 4 

Ah, my dear uncle, one moment. 5 Staddon, I be- 
lieve Mr. Tavender is on the telephone. Please 
ring him up and say I should be much obliged if 
he and Mrs. Tavender would come on here at once. 

Stad. 
Yes, Sir Joseph. [Exit Staddon 6 

Sir J. 
Now, my dear uncle, how d'ye do ? 

[Offering hand, which Tofield zvill not see. 

Tof. [Glaring at Sir Joseph through his 
spectacles.] 

I wish to have a word with you in private. — 7 How 
<i'ye do, Mr. Fanmere ? 

69 



1 Going to R. 



1 Going back to 

L. C. 

8 Lower do o r, 
left. 



4 Standing down 
L. c. 

6 Tof. glares at 
Sir J. and goes 
to c. above Sir 
f. Tof. then 
stares at Fan- 
mere and goes 
up c. taking 
off his gloves. 



6 Lower door 
left. 



' Goes v.. a little. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Tofield contin- 
ues to glare at 
Sir Joseph. 



Fan. 
How d'ye do, Professor ? * 

Sir J. 
I trust I've done nothing to upset you 

Tof. 

No. I have arrived at a time of life when I will 
no longer allow my emotions to be played upon, 
and my digestion to be impaired by the spectacle of 
your follies and indiscretions. 

Sir J. 
I suppose you've heard this absurd story 

Tof. 
I have heard a story which 

Fan. 

Excuse me, Professor Tofield, but as this unfor- 
tunate affair concerns my wife's family, I've come 
here to try to arrange matters without a public 
scandal. Now, if the friends of both parties, such 
as you and I 

Tof. [Glances at Sir Joseph.] 

Pardon me. In this matter I decline to be regarded 
in any sense as a friend of Sir Joseph's. 2 

Fan. 

Yes. Of course we can't quite approve his con- 
duct, but 



* Goes up c. 

places his hat 
on desk, and 
his umbrella 
by the side of 
it. Sir J. dur- 
ing following 
lines is L. C. 



* Comes down c. 



Tof. [Majestically.] 

Approve his conduct? 3 Approve [Glares at 

Sir J.] 

Fan. 

That's what I say ! His conduct has been [looking 
70 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



act ir 



at Sir Joseph] disgraceful! Very disgraceful! 
Still, there's a lady's reputation at stake 

Tof. 

That is no responsibility of mine. If ladies wish to 
preserve their reputations they should take the very 
simple precaution not to place those reputations in 
circumstances where they will be at stake. 

Fan. 

Yes, yes, of course. But after all, you know, the 
question is, " Can we hush it up? " 

Tof. [Majestically.] 

Hush it up? ! Hush it up? ! Do I understand you, 
Mr. Fanmere, to ask me to betray the guiding prin- 
ciples of my whole career ? x 



A — a — what are your 



Fan. 

No ! No ! Of course not. 
guiding principles? 

Tof. 

When I accepted my present professorship I deter- 
mined to make no truce with the organized system 
of conventional lying which supports and regulates 
English society. I determined to speak the truth on 
all occasions, with an absolute disregard of any 
might cause to those around 



pain or discomfort I 
me 2 



Fan. 



Very noble and courageous of you ! 

Tof. 

I determined to make my office the means of bring- 
ing about some small relation between moral theory 
and personal practice in England. What has been 
the result ? I say it with pride and exhilaration — I 

7i 



1 Sir J. lights as 
cigarette. 



2 Sir /.sits R. of 
table L. c. and 
smokes. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Sir J. rises 
quickly and 
goes c. to To/. 



have made enemies everywhere! My class-room is 
deserted ! My windows have twice been gutted ! 
And on one occasion I only avoided the indignity 
of a personal encounter by remaining indoors for 
two days ! 

Fan. 

Very noble and courageous of you! 
Tof. 

And I assure you I have not come for the purpose 
of hushing it up! 

Sir. J. 1 

Then, my dear uncle, will you please tell me what 
on earth you have come for? 

Tof. 

I have come in the first place to withdraw my in- 
vitation to you to dine with me to-morrow night — 

Sir J. [Eagerly takes up his engagement-book , 
and makes a mark.] 

It's cancelled, my dear uncle ! Please say no more. 2 

Tof. 

I have a great deal more to say. This unhappy gen- 
tleman, Mr. Hardolph Mayne, is the son of one of 
my oldest friends. I had also invited him and Lady 
Verona to dine with me. In accordance with my 
well-known principles, I shall be obliged to with- 
draw my invitation to them 

Sir J. 

Oh, my dear uncle ! 3 Withdraw your invitations 
to everybody! Give them all a night off! And 
give your principles a night off too! Let them 
have a little rest sometimes! I've got principles! 
We've all got principles! But, thank heaven, we 
don't make our neighbors uncomfortable by acting 
up to them ! 

72 



* Sits again. 



8 Rises. 



•sc. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Tof. [Very angry.] 

Very well, sir ! Very well ! I have, still a plain and 
painful duty to discharge to you in this matter. 
And if you 



Enter Staddon, 1 announcing " Mr. Jermyn Pye- 
croft." Enter Jermyn Pyecroft, a tall, sleek, 
well-dressed, superior, affected person, about 
fifty; sharp-featured, a little bald; satirical, cor- 
rect; a constant poseur. Exit Staddon. 

Pye. 
Ah, my dear Joseph 

Sir J. 
My dear Pyecroft. 

Pye. 
Fanmere, my salutations 



[Shaking hands. 



How d'ye do ? 



Fan. 



ye do r 

[Pyecroft looks at Tofield through eye- 
glass. Tofield grunts. 

Sir J. [Introduces.] 

Mr. Jermyn Pyecroft. My uncle, Professor To- 
field, Jobsonian Professor of Moral Philosophy. 

Pye. 2 

Professor, I greet you most cordially. I was glanc- 
ing at your new volume yesterday, " The Relation 
of Theory to Practice in Modern Ethics" [To- 
field bows]. I have never before encountered 
anyone who supposed there could be any relation 
between British theory and British practice in the 
sphere of morals. 3 Apropos of morals, my dear 
Joseph, I have come to make a little personal ex- 
planation. May I tear you from your friends for 
a moment? Unless you would prefer me to un- 
burden my guilty soul in public? 

73 



1 Lower do or 
left. 



2 Crossing' to R. 



8 Tofield grins 
and sits R. on 
settee. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Sir J. 

My dear Pyecroft, if you have come upon the same 
errand that has brought Mr. Fanmere and Profes- 
sor Tofield, pray speak out. 

Pye. 

Then I will place myself in the pillory. I blame and 
scourge myself, my dear Joseph, for having been 
so foolish as to listen to a scandalous story connect- 
ing your name with that of a certain lady. I blame 
and scourge myself still more for having been so 
foolish as to repeat it, even in the sanctity of a club 
smoking-room. I blame and scourge and mortify 
myself in a still higher degree for not having ascer- 
tained that the lady's husband was screened behind 
a newspaper, and was listening to my artless prat- 
tle. I have no knowledge whatever of the facts of 
the case; but whatever they are I declare them to 
be utterly false, incredible, and highly mischievous 
to society; I triumphantly place the garter of 
" Honi soit qui mal y pense " upon my own knee, 
and upon the knee of any lady or gentleman who 
will tender it to me for that purpose. [Tofield rises 
to make an indignant protest.] I speak in metaphors, 
my dear Professor ! A mere trope! A mere trope! 
[Tofield seats himself.'] I draw no moral, my dear 
Joseph ! I simply cover myself with confusion, and 
I offer the most abject apology to your injured self, 
to the injured lady, and to the injured husband. 
And now I trust you will allow me to withdraw 
from this affair with the assurance that my humble 
share in it will be totally pardoned and forgotten. 
Good-day 

[Takes up hat, about to go. 

Sir J. 

No, Pyecroft, I want you to tell me exactly what 
you heard and give me your authority. 
74 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Enter Staddon, 1 showing in Mr. and Mrs. Tav- 
ender. 

Stad. [Announces.] 

Mr. and Mrs. Tavender. 
Exit Staddon. 

The Tavenders enter, looking most uncomfortable, 2 

Sir J. 
How d'ye do, Mrs. Tavender ? 3 

Mrs. T. [Shaking hands.] 
How are you, Sir Joseph ? 

Tav. 4 [With great assumed cordiality.] 
Ah, my dear Jo, how goes it ! 

Sir. J. 5 
How d'ye do, Harry? 

Tav. 

We got your message on the telephone, and of 
course we came on at once. [Very uneasy.] Any- 
thing — a — important ? 

Sir J. 

Yes, Harry, most important. I find that a lady's 
name has been associated with mine in a cruel and 
false scandal. 6 

Mrs. T. 

Yes, we've heard something about it. But I hope 
you don't mean to infer that Harry and I have any- 
thing to do with it ? 7 

Sir J. 

I infer nothing; I find that this scandal is being re- 
peated everywhere. It has become so general that 
it cannot be allowed to die a natural death. There 

75 



1 Lower door 
Uft. 



2 Tofield rises. 



* Comes to c, 
Mrs. T. fol- 
lows him. 



6 Mrs. T. goes to 

Tav., they ex- 
change looks. 
Fanmere is 
doivn R. To- 
field above him 
•with his back 
to tliefire. 

7 Sits down R. 
of table L. C. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



is nothing for me to do but to court the strictest 
inquiry, to bring every detail to light, to prove the 
lady's absolute innocence, and to silence anyone who 
dares to breathe the least word against her unsullied 
honor ! 

Pye. 

Admirably put, my dear Joseph. And quite in the 
style of eloquence befitting these occasions. 

Tav. [Very uneasy.] 

My dear Jo, anything that Cissy and I can do to 
help you out of the hole — anything in this world, 
only too happy — but you know — eh? 

Sir J. [Sternly.'] 

Will you please tell me exactly what you and Mrs. 
Tavender have been saying about myself and — a 
lady? 

Tav. [Uncomfortable.] 

Well, I assure you — eh, Cissy ? ' 

Mrs. T. 

I really take no interest in such affairs. I've scarcely 

mentioned it 

Sir J. 

No, but when you have mentioned it, what have you 
said? Eh, Harry? 

Tav. 

Well, I assure you, Jo — we've always let you down 
gently, eh, Cissy? 

Sir J. 

Let me down gently ? 2 What do you mean ? 

Tav. 

Well — you know, Jo, it isn't fair to corner me like 
| this — eh, Cissy ? [Most uncomfortable. 

7 6 



1 Backs away to 



2 Moves over to 
him. 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



Mrs. T. 1 

Oh, my dear Harry, if it's going to be made public 
I really can't and won't be mixed up in it. 

Sir J. 
Aren't you already a little mixed up in it ? 

Mrs. T. 

I suppose you think that Harry and I started this 
gossip. But if you wish to know who your friend 
really is I don't mind telling you 

Tav. 

Now, Cissy, do take care 



Mrs. T. 

No, Harry, I cannot be accused of being a scandal- 
monger. [To Sir Joseph.] The person who has 
really spread all these dreadful tales is Mrs. Paken- 
ham, who lives opposite to the Maynes in Saville 
Street. She was watching you and Lady Verona 
from her window. 



Well- 



Sir J. 



Mrs. T. 



Well— I don't know what she saw, or what she 
didn't see, but if she saw half of what she says she 
saw— well, you'd better send for Mrs. Pakenham. 

Sir J. 
I will send for Mrs. Pakenham in her turn 



Mrs. T. 

Well, her turn comes before mine. [Getting agi- 
tated.] And I think before accusing old friends 
like Harry and me 

77 



ACT II 



1 Rises. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Sir J. 

Excuse me. I have accused no one. I merely ask 
you and Tavender to help me to get at the truth. 

Mrs. T. 

I really didn't notice what took place that morning. 
I was too much shocked and surprised. So it won't 
be the least use to call us for witnesses on either 
side, and if Hardolph carries out his threat and gets 
a divorce 

Sir J. 

Does Mayne speak of a divorce? 1 



1 Turns to Tav. 
■who is on his 



Tav. 
Ye— es. 



[Smiling in a silly, embarrassed way.] 



! Mrs. T. shakes 
hands with 
Sir J. Taven- 
der opens door 
L. stands L. c. 



* Gives Sir J. his 
hand. Sir J. 
takes Tav's 
h and and 
swing's him 
round to c. 



* Sir J. moves as 
if to fottow 
her. 



Mrs. T. 

Well, what else can he do? And the moment he 
brings his action we shall go abroad; we shall not 
allow our address to be known, and we shall stay 
there till it's all over. You'll forgive my speaking 
so plainly. Good-bye. 2 I really can't stay. I was 
just going on to a party when your message came. 
I haven't a moment. Harry, are you coming? 

Tav. [Preparing to go.] 

You know, Jo, I don't see how I can be of much 
use — eh, old fellow ? 3 

Sir J. 

You'd better stay, Harry. I shall want you to help 
me thrash this out. Mrs. Tavender, I'll see you to 
the door 

Mrs. T. [Going off.] 

Harry, do be careful and don't let your good nature 
run away with you. If you're wise you'll say 
exactly what I've said, and refuse to be drawn into 

it. 4 Oh, please don't trouble 

78 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



If you please- 



Sm J. 



[Exeunt Sir Joseph and Mrs. Tavender. 1 

Tav. 

I say, this is pretty bad business, eh? Looks as if 
we were going to have a big wash of dirty linen, 
eh ? Now we must all hang together and keep each 
other out of it, eh ? 2 

Pye. 
I intend to extricate myself. 

Tav. 

Yes, Jermyn, you seem to have landed yourself 
in the thick of it. [Laughing. 

Pye. 
Joseph has just asked me for my authority. 

Tav. 

Eh? [Anxiously.] Well? Well? 

Pye. 

If I'm challenged, I fear I shall be obliged to name 
you as my child's guide to knowledge in this affair. 

Tav. 

What? Oh, I say! Oh come, Jermyn, you don't 
mean to give me away ! 3 

Tav. 4 [Bursting out.] 

It's too bad of Jo Lacy to drag all his friends into 
a confounded mess like this ! If he wants to break- 
fast with a lady, why the deuce doesn't he take her 
— anywhere? Let him take her to Timbuctoo to 
breakfast ! or Jericho. I don't care where he takes 
her so long as he keeps her out of my way. — Ah, 
Jo! [as Sir Joseph re-enters.] 5 

79 



1 Lower do or, 
left. 



2 Pyecroft moves 
to R. c. 



8 Pyecroft gives 
an amused 
shrug ; turns 
up C. 

4 Goes L. 



Sir J. closes 
door, looks at 
all the men 
present /or a 
second and 
then crosses to 
C. standing 
facing all of 
than with his 
back to the 
audience. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Fan. 

Now, my dear Jo, I hope you thoroughly realize 
your position. 

Sir J. 
I'm beginning to. 

Fan. 

Then there's no need to rub it in. 



1 At fire. Fan. 
gets up R. c. a 
Jew steps. 



8 Seats himself. 
Pye sits R. of 
table L. c. 
Tavender sits 
on front edge 
of table. 



Not a bit. 



Sir J. 



Tof. 1 



I am waiting to make an important communication 
to Sir Joseph. If he wishes I will retire into an- 
other room meantime. 

Sir J. 

No, pray stay, my dear uncle. I feel sure that if 
you can't help us, at least you'll be able to offer us 
a quantity of good advice. 

Tof. 

On that understanding I will remain; though at a 
very considerable loss of self-respect. 2 

Fan. 

Now, I'm here as a friend of both parties, to see 
whether this can't be arranged. I've told Hardolph 
I feel sure you have some perfectly natural and in- 
nocent explanation of the circumstances. 

Sir J. 
So I have. 

Fan. 

Well, dear old boy, let's hear it then! 

Sir J. 

I was there by the merest accident. I'd lost my 
80 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



1 Sises. 



luggage, my club was closed for cleaning, and I 
happened to be passing through Saville Street; 
Knapman the butler was leaning out of the win- 
dow 

[They all show amused incredulity. 

Fan. 

Yes, dear boy, we know all about that. But you 
don't expect me to go back to Hardolph with that 
story, do you? 

Sir J. 

But it's the mere truth, I give you my word of 
honor as a gentleman 

Tof. 1 

I never allow the phrases, " word of honor," " man 
of honor," to pass current in my presence. Were 
I in the position in which you have placed this un- 
happy gentleman 

Sir J. 

What?! 

Tof. 

A contingency that would have been incredible, im- 
possible, with either of my wives 2 — my successive 
wives — but had I any suspicion that I was an in- 
jured husband, the mere fact that I was offered a 
denial on " the word of honor of a gentleman " 
would go far to assure me that my misfortune was 
accomplished. [In a loud aside to Tavender, who 
is next to him.] "Word of honor of a gentle- 
man ! " The utterly discredited and discreditable 
formula of every plausible scamp. 

[Glaring at Sir Joseph. 

Sir J. 

That may be, my dear uncle! But I give you my 
word of honor as a gentleman that Lady Verona is 
innocent! [He looks round, they just glance at 

Si 



2 They all start 
and look at 
Tof. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



each other and show incredulity.] Entirely inno- 
cent in word and deed and thought! [Pause; he 
again looks round; they still maintain the same air 
of quiet cold incredulity.] Fanny! Pyecroft, I'm 
not saying this because it's considered the proper 
thing to do! I'm simply speaking the plain truth. 
She's innocent. My most sacred word of honor! 
I swear it on any oath you like to put to me! By 
everything that I hold dear. 1 You don't believe me ? 



1 Sir J .from the 
time he has 
entered has 
been standing 
with his back 
to a u die nee 
nearly all the 
time. He has 
only moiied his 
head a little 
from one per- 
son to the 
other. When 
he gets to the 
lines " I swear 
it on any oath 
you put to 
me" he half 
turns and only 
faces audience 
w/teu he says 
to Pyecroft, 
" You do n't 
believe me." 



Pye. 

My dear Joseph, of course we accept your assurance 
as a man of honor. What else could we expect 
from a man of honor? What less could a man of 
honor give! But having accepted your word of 
honor as a man of honor, the facts remain the same. 
You do not gainsay that you were discovered break- 
fasting with Lady Verona? 



No. 



Sir J. 
Pye. 



You had arrived at Saville Street the previous 
? 



evening 
Yes. 



Sir J. 



Pye. 
Having lost your luggage. 

Tof. 
Bah! 

Pye. 

You did what is usual in such circumstances, you 
besreed a bed from a friend's butler ? 



Yes. 



Sir J. 



Pye. 



Unfortunately Lady Verona had arrived at Saville 
Street the same evening? 
82 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Yes. 



Sir J. 



Pye. 



Having omitted to mention these facts to our friend 
Hardolph, he is naturally inclined to place a some- 
what harsh construction on them. 



Fan. 

Yes. It puts me in such a damned silly, awkward 
position. Now, Jo, can't you give me some ex- 
planation that will — will — will 



Will what? 



Sir J. 



Fan. 



Well, put things right and get us all out of this 
infernal muddle that you've got us into? [taking 
out watch.] Hardolph's waiting for my return. 
What shall I tell him from you? [Pause.] 

Sir J. 

Tell him I give him my word of honor that Lady 
Verona is innocent. 

[They all express dissatisfaction. 

Fan. 

Yes ! And off he goes to Cattermoul and starts an 
flt-tion for divorce. What then? 

Sir J. [Very calmly.] 

[Looks at others.] Tell him to go to Cattermoul. 
And start his action for divorce. And win his ac- 
tion for divorce. 1 

[Sits and very calmly lights a cigarette. 1 
Fanmere looks at Sir Joseph ; looks 
all round at the others; makes a helpless, 
despairing gesture. 

83 



1 Crosses to set- 
tee c. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Tav. [Sympathetically.] 

Yes, it's a nasty bit of business for all of us. 1 Well, 
Jo, old fellow, hope you'll come out of it smiling! 
I don't see that I can be of much further use — so 
I'll toddle! 2 



1 Rises. 

* Going L. 

* Crosses to L c. 



1 Coming down 
C- a little. 



Fan. 3 

No, Harry, I told Hardolph I'd bring you round to 
Saville Street with me. 

Tav. 

Dear boy — what for? What can I do? 

Fan. 

Hardolph wants to question you about the whole 
matter. Now, my dear Harry, if you'll tell him 
that from their manner that morning you're quite 
sure that Lady Vee and Jo are innocent 

Tav. 

Eh ? Oh no, Fanny. Anything to help a friend — 
but that's too large an order — oh no. 

Fan. 

But my dear Harry, if you don't we're all up a 
tree 4 

Tof. [Shaking his head vigorously.] 

I cannot allow 

Fan. 
Yes, yes, Professor! 



Tof. 



I say I cannot allow- 



Fan. 

Yes, Professor; your opinions do you very great 
honor, but we're trying to save a lady's reputation, 
and it's a case where the truth may be stretched a 
little. [Looking to Pyecroft. 

84 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Pye. 

In the case of a lady's reputation, what is the truth 
made for — except to be stretched. 1 Alas, that it 
should sometimes snap! 2 

Fan. 
Now, Harry, you must come on with me. 

Tav. [Very miserable] 

Well— all right— I'll com< 
awful mess of it. 



-but I shall make an 



Fan. 



You mustn't make a mess of it. I'll back you up. 
[Looks at Sir Joseph.] I'll tell Hardolph that 
from Sir Joseph's manner this afternoon, I'm sure 
he's innocent. 

Tav. 

But I shall feel such a silly idiot! Tell a man to 
his face when you find his wife breakfasting with 
Jo Lacy out of the season — tell him there's nothing 
in it ! 

Fan. 

Keep on repeating to yourself that there is nothing 
in it; [looking at Sir Joseph, who is sitting in the 
settee] that he really is innocent. You can per- 
suade yourself of anything, if you only say it often 
enough. 3 Now fix your mind on his innocence! 
[Looking at Sir Joseph, who sits smoking.] 4 
Hang it, Jo, it's too bad ! It's really too bad ! 



What is ? 5 



Sir J. 
Fan. 



Well, here is a lady's reputation in your hands; 
here is her husband, in a state of jealousy bordering 
on madness, waiting to know if I can offer any ex- 
planation on your behalf; here is your uncle To- 

85 



1 Tof. goes up c 
again. 

2 Goes up to desk. 



s Turns Ta v. 
round to face 
Sir/. 

4 Going over to 
Sir/. 



5 Pyecroft sits by 
desk. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



field; your good friend Harry; your good friend 
Pyecroft; and myself, all waiting to help you out 
of the mess, and you sit there calmly smoking — 
hang it, Jo, what are you going to do? 

Sir J. 

My dear Fanny, do you think I don't know the 
recognized code of honor in these cases? Do you 
think I sha'n't act up to it? Do you think I sha'n't 
fight to my last breath, my last ha'penny, my last 
truth, my last lie to save her? And if that fails do 
you think I shall desert her? Lady Verona's 
reputation is in my hands, you say — will you be 
good enough to leave it there ? 

Fan. 
Oh, very well. Come on, Harry! 1 

Tav. 

Anything I can do — only too pleased — but — if ever 
I — of all the — Ta ta, Jo — Ta ta, Jermyn — I call it 
blackguardly — I know I shall put my foot in it, 

and 

[Exit muttering. 2 

Fan. 

Prettv job I've got in front of me — to go and tell 
Hardolph— [Twr;?.? and looks disgusted at Sir 
Joseph.] 3 

[Exit Fanmere after Tavender. 4 

Pye. 5 

My dear Joseph, may I offer you my pouncet-box 
in the midst of this carnage ? 



1 Crosses behind 
Harry to L. 



3 Lower door, 

left. 



8 Sir J. rir. -s, 

and while Ftin. 

stands grumb- 

•t hitn he 

r at e ly 
presses bell be- 
low fireplace. 

4 Sir Jose f>h sits. 
I 'v crof comes 
down to him- 

6 Bell heard off 



Certainly, 



Sir J. 



Pye. 



Why not go abroad and allow matters to cool down ? 
86 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



I was dining with Sir Edward last night, and it 
seems that the governorship of our new Pacific 
group is vacant. I know of no person so com- 
petent to govern Pacific Islanders as yourself. Shall 
I call on Sir Edward and suggest you for the post ? 
Doesn't that offer a way out of the difficulty? 

Sir J. 

I think not. If I sneak away that will be tanta- 
mount to acknowledging the truth of this slander. 
And she'll have to stay and bear the brunt of it 
alone. No, I mustn't run away ! 

Pye. 

Do you think you'll serve her interests, her reputa- 
tion, by staying in England? 



I think so. 



Sir J. 



Pye. [With a little shrug.} 

Then, my dear Joseph, adieu. 1 I trust I have done 
all that friendship requires of me? 



Yes. Good-bye. 2 



Sir J. 



Sir J. 



[Pyecroft is going. 



Pyecroft! [Pyecroft stops.] Perhaps after alt 
you're right — What terms are you on with Mayne 
since 

Pye. 

Since the club smoking-room? My dear Joseph, I 
never allow any man to be on bad terms with me. 
I framed a winsome apologv to poor Hardolph, and 
I now appear to him as a beatific bachelor, anxious 
only to inaugurate a millennium of conjugal peace. 
Can I be of any service? 

87 



Sir J. rings 
bell. Pye. goes 
L. c. Bell as 
before, 



2 Going C. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Sir J. 

I don't know how this may turn out. It might be 
a friendly thing to me — and to her — if you'd find 
out from Mayne whether my absence abroad for 
some months would allow this to blow over? 

Pye. 

I'll go over to Saville Street and gently intimate the 
same 1 



1 Goes to door. 



1 Opens door and 
stops. 



3 Lower do o> 
left. 



Sir J. 
You won't commit me — or her — in any way? 

Pye. 

Certainly not. It shall be the obvious suggestion 
of the disinterested bachelor. 

Sir J. 
Thanks. And you'll let me know ? 

Pye. 
As soon as I've seen him. 2 



Sir J. 



* Down R. c. 



Pyecroft, she's straight 

Pye. 

My dear Joseph, the alternative is unthinkable. 

[Exit Pyecroft. 3 Tofield at window 
makes a start and on exclamation of 
surprise, comes dozen and glares at Sir 
Joseph through his spectacles. 

Sir J. 

Anything the matter? [Tofield stands glaring at 
Sir Joseph, and points with his thumb to the 
window which he has just left. Sir Joseph goes 
hurriedly up to the window, looks out, comes back 
puzzled. 4 Tofield remains speechless, glaring 
88 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



ferociously at Sir Joseph through his spectacles.'] 
What is it? What has happened? [Tofield 
makes an effort to speak, but remains speechless.] 
My dear uncle, you Seem to be laboring under 
some extraordinary difficulty. [Tofield gathers 
up all liis forces for a tremendous explosion.] Will 
you please tell me what has disturbed you? 



Lady- 
door- 



-just 



Tof. 
stepped 



Lady 



?l 



[Exploding.] 

out of cab — entered 

Sir J. 

Tof. 



your 



Yes. I came here prepared to give you my opinion 
of your conduct in no measured terms. 

Sir J. 
Proceed, my dear uncle! Proceed! 

Tof. 

No, I will forbear to tax my somewhat enfeebled 
organs; I will refrain from useless expostula- 
tion 

Sir J. 
Thank you, very much ! * 

Tof. 

I will content myself by stating that I leave the 
whole of my late wife's fortune to moral and phil- 
anthropic institutions. And I have now the satis- 
faction of wishing you a final adieu. 

Sir J. 

Good-day, my dear uncle. Good-day. 

[Rings bell. 2 Tofield goes up to desk to 
get his hat, which he has left there. In 
coming back he kicks against Lady Ve- 
89 



1 Goes to r. 



2 Bell as before, 



ac r 11 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Sir J. places h is 

cigar on ash 

tray R. 

1 L owe r do o r 

left. 



Putt in g her 
round 
upper door 



.'rrs and 
goes doivn R. c. 



down to 

lu-r. 



6 Crosses him to 



rona's glove at corner of desk. He 
stoops, picks it up. handles it very gin- 
gerly, looks at it very suspiciously. As 
he does so the handle of the upper door, 
left, is turned, the door opens. Lady 
Verona just puts her head in, cat dies 
sight of Tofield, utters a little scream, 
withdraws, and closes door. Sir Jo- 
seph shows surprise and confusion. 
Tofield grows redder and more angry, 
and goes off l Sir Joseph watches him 
off, then goes to upper door left, opens 
it. 



Are you alone? 
Yes. 3 



Lady V. 2 
Sir J. 
Sir J. 



I'm delighted you've come, but aren't you fearfully 
imprudent? 4 

Lady V. 

Yes — I can't help that. I asked your man to show 
me in there till they'd g-or.e. 

Sir J. 

You haven't — left Hardolph? 

Lady V. 

No — though I think he means to drive me to it. 

Sir J. 

Ah! . [Approaching her. 

Lady V. 

No! 5 please don't be foolish. [Looks round very 
nervously.] You're quite sure we're alone? 

Sir J. 

Yes — don't be afraid. Tell me what has brought 
you here. 

90 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Lady V. 

I couldn't bear the suspense any longer. I've had 
two awful days. 1 I felt I must throw myself over 
the precipice rather than endure another hour's tor- 
ture. Why haven't you answered my letters ? 

Sir J. 
Letters ? # 

Lady V. 

I've written you twice since this happened. 

Sir J. 

The last letter I had from you reached me at Milan 
a fortnight ago. [Drawing it from his pocket.] 
I answered it at once. 

Lady V. 

You didn't get a letter yesterday, and the night be- 
fore? 

Sir J. 
Not a scrap. 

Lady V. 

[Frightened.] Then 2 what has become of them? 
If they should have fallen into my husband's hands ! 
Oh! 

Sir J. 
What did you say in the letters? 

Lady V. 
I can't quite remember. I'm trying to think 

Sir J. 
Were they — very tender? 

Lady V. 

Tender! No! 3 How can you suppose I should 
write anything tender to you— especially just now ? 

9i 



1 Sits r. of table 

L. C. 



1 Rises and 
crosses to R. 



3 Lady V. sits 
on settee r. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



1 Takes her 
hand which is 
resting on arm 
of settee. 



2 Sits on arm of 
settee. 



Sir J. 

Then why should it matter if they fell into your 
husband's hands? 

Lady V. 

Because — because I appealed to you to come and 
save me 

Sir J. 

Ah ! [Approaching her tenderly. 

Lady V. 

No — no, do keep away from me, please. And my 
letters might be taken for the appeal of a guilty 
woman — Oh ! 

Sir J. 

Don't be alarmed! You know that I'm entirely at 
your service. [Again approaching her very 1 ten- 
derly.] Tell me what you wish me to do! 

Lady V. 

I wish you not to make love to me. That was Pro- 
fessor Tofield who left here just now? 

Sir J. 
Yes. 

Lady V. 

He's a friend of my husband. We dine with him 
to-morrow night — if ever we dine with anybody 
any more. 

Sir J. 

I wouldn't fret about losing the Professor's dinner 
— or his acquaintance. 2 

Lady V. 

I don't. But as I was getting out of the cab just 
now Mr. Jermyn Pyecroft was coming out of the 
door — of course my first impulse was not to see 
92 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



him ; well he saw through that, and then of course I 
had to recognize him and bow; then my next im- 
pulse was to pretend that I was going to Lady 
George's next door — well he saw through that too; 
so I had to face it out and come in here, and I know 
I looked quite guilty : that's the worst of this ; I be- 
gin to feel quite guilty — and of course Pyecroft 
thinks 



Sir J. 

I wouldn't fret about Pyecroft. He's a man of the 
world, and he's used to this sort of thing-. 

Lady V. 

Used to what sort of thing?! I'm not used to it. 

[Suddenly bursting into reproaches.] Oh, you 

have placed me in a terrible position. Terrible! 
Terrible ! Terrible ! 

Sir. J. [Again approaching her very tenderly.] * 
I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I'm glad 
you've come to me in your distress. [Getting very 
tender.] You may be quite sure that whatever hap- 
pens I shall stick to you through 

Lady V. [Repulsing him.] 

No! no! That's just what I don't want you to do, 
unless — unless 



Unless what? 



Sir J. 



Lady V. 



Well, of course if things come to the worst, then it 
would be very kind of you to 

Sir J. [Trying to clasp her.] 
You may be sure I will. 

Lady V. [Repulsing him.] 

No ! No ! You are not to make love to me 

93 



Rising. 



1 Leaning ever 
back of settee. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Sir J. 

I won't [Again approaching her very tenderly.] 
But come now, Vee, put yourself entirely in my 



1 Rises, crosses to 
up c. Sir J. 
remains by 
back of seat. 



2 Comes donun c. 
and leans over 
back of chair 
K. of table L. c. 

8 Moves c. to her. 



4 Sits in chair by 
table. 



B Lady V. rises 
crosses to R. c. 
and stands be- 
hind settee. 



hands- 

Lady V. 

But you are making love to me 

Sir J. 

No, no, I'm not. I assure you I'm not. Tell me, 
how can I put things right ? 

Lady V. 

Well, how can you? [Again looks at him and 
bursts out again into reproaches.] * Why did you 
ask Knapman to put you up for the night? Why 
didn't you go to a club, or to an hotel, or anywhere, 
rather than come and stay in the very house where 
I was ? 2 

Sir J. 

It was senseless of me. 3 I deserve to be whipped. 
But why didn't you tell Hardolph all about it ? You 
promised you would. 

Lady V. 
I promised I would at the first suitable opportunity. 

Sir J. 
Well? 

Lady V. 
Well, I never got a suitable opportunity. 4 

Sir J. [Drawing letter from pocket.] 

But you say in this letter [reading] : " Hardolph, 
like a dear good sensible husband has said nothing 
further about it." 

Lady V. 5 

Well, that's quite true. If he didn't know any 
94 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



thing about it he couldn't say anything about it. 
Could he? 

Sir. J. 1 
Then you never told him ? 2 

Lady V. 

Oh, please don't you begin to reproach me! It was 
quite impossible for me to tell him. 



Why 



Sir J. 



Lady V. 



Well — you know I told you that I always keep a 
birch rod for Hardolph when he's impossible. 

Sir J. 
Yes — well ? 

Lady V. 

You are my birch rod. [Sir J. is much puzzled.'] 
Sir J. 



I don't understand. 



Lady V. 



It's pretty generally known that — well, that you 
have been devotedly attached to me for a long 
while. 

Sir J. [Again approaching her very tenderly. ] 
That's true! 

Lady V. [Again putting him azvay.] 

Well, you can't blame a woman if she takes ad- 
vantage of a thing like that? 

Sir J. 
How? 

Lady V. 

Whenever Hardolph has been unusually horrid I've 

95 



1 Putting- letter 
back in pocket. 

1 In a tone of re- 
proach, goes 
■up a step. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



always told him that if he didn't appreciate me, you 
did. 

Sir J. [Goes to her quickly.} 

Quite true! [Delighted.] Serve him right ! 

Lady V. 

And just before I left for Oxfordshire we had a 
very great tiff, and he became so utterly unbearable 
that at last I lost my temper and told him you were 
dying to take me off his hands ! 

Sir J. overjoyed. 

What? Well, of course that settles the whole 
matter. 1 

[Attempting to embrace her.] 

Lady V. 
No, no, I didn't mean it 

Sir J. 

But you must mean it. Try to realize your posi- 
tion, dear. Through no fault of yours and mine 
everybody believes us guilty. Whatever I do, what- 
ever I say, even if you pacify Hardolph, there will 
always be a suspicion attaching to us 

Lady V. 
Oh, don't say that! It's horrible! 

Sir J. 

Would it be so very horrible to trust your life to 
the care of the man who has always loved you, who 
never loved you so devotedly as now 

Lady V. 

Oh I couldn't ! I couldn't ! Jo, you must do some- 
thing! 

96 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Sir J. 

What? All the afternoon I've been trying to de- 
fend you — I've given my word of honor, my oath 
— they wouldn't believe me. But while they were 
buzzing round me with their little sneers, I kept on 
thinking, I kept on hoping— yes, I do hope it ! I'm 
glad of it ! I kept on saying to myself, " Suppose 
I can't prove her innocent. Suppose she must come 
to me ! Suppose I can't save her ! " * 

Lady V. 2 

Jo, you don't want to save me! You don't mean 
to save me ! 

Sir J. 

You shouldn't say that. Tell me what you would 
do if you were in my place ? 

Lady V. [Desperate.] 
Oh, I don't know ! 3 If I were a man I would find 
out some way to save the woman I loved ! 4 

[Bursts into tears.] 

Sir ]. [Looks at her a moment, then goes to her, 
takes her hand away from her face.] 

Vee, dear! I will try! I'll be perfectly loyal to 
you. Believe me I will! On my honor, on my 
love for you, the only thing left that's sacred to 
me, I'll do something — everything that can be done ! 
I'll leave no stone unturned. Trust me. 

Lady V. 
Thank you, 5 thank you with all my heart. 6 

Sir J. 

Now let's set to work. What's Hardolph doing? 

Lady V. 

Threatening all sorts of things— threatening to kill 
you, threatening to kill me. 

97 



1 Gets nearer to 
her. 

2 Rises. 



3 Goes up 
desk. 

* Drops 

chair by 



into 
desk. 



6 Rises. 

6 He brings her 
down c. on her 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Sir J. 
What? 

Lady V. 

Don't be alarmed, of course he doesn't mean it — 
threatening to go to Cattermoul 

Sir J. 
Does he know you've come here ? 

Lady V. 
No. I've not seen him since last evening. 

Sir J. 

You must go back to him, tell him you've been here 
to see me, and say that I'm coming on to give him 
a clear and truthful account of the whole affair. 

Lady V. 
Will that be the best thing to do? 

Sir J. 
It's the only thing to do, at present. 

Lady V. 
But he's in a terrible state — or he was last evening. 

Sir J. 
You mustn't be afraid of him * 

Lady V. 



1 Goes r. 



I won't- 



2 Rings bell and 
comes c. Bell 
as be/ore. 



' Sir J. takes her 
hand. 



Sir J. 

I'll put you in a cab 2 

Lady V. 
No — let your man see me to the door — Oh! 

Sir J. 3 
Courage — courage. 
98 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II 



Enter Staddon/ with two letters on tray. 2 

Stad. 

I beg pardon, Sir Joseph, these letters arrived yes- 
terday before your return. Mrs. Trabb happened 
to take them in downstairs and they got behind 
some things on her dresser. She hopes you'll ex- 
cuse her 

Sir J. [Has taken letters.] 
Your two missing letters 



Lady V. 3 

I'm glad they're safe. Yes, give them to me — 
there's nothing in them. [He gives her the let- 
ters. 4 She puts them in her pocket. 

Sir J. 

The door, Staddon, and my hat and gloves. 

[Exit Staddon. 5 

Lady V. 
You think I'd better see Hardolph before you 



come , 



Sir J. 



By all means. Whatever you do, don't seem afraid 
of him. 

Lady V. 
I'm not — only 

Sir J. 
Be perfectly calm and courageous. 

Lady V. 
I will — only, dear man, he'll need some handling! 

[With a little shiver. .] 

Sir J. 
Well then, handle him, dear man, handle him ! 

99 
LOFC 



1 Lower door, 
left. 

1 Comes to L. c. 
Lady V. goes 
up c. Sir J. 

moves c. to 
Staddon. 



8 Coming do~.vn 
R. c. and hold- 
ing out her 
hand J or them. 

4 After a mo- 
ment's hesita- 
tion. 



8 L o vj e r door 
left. 



ACT II 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



[Taking her hand.] Handle him very delicately 
and firmly. Perhaps a little good-natured chaff? 
Eh? 

Lady V. 
Chaff? 

Sir J. 

Yes — chaff him out of it. 

Lady V. [Dubiously.] 

I'll try— hut 

Sir J. 
I'll come on and help you. 

Lady V. 
You won't be long? 

Sir J. 
I'll be round in half an hour. 

Lady V. 
Jo, I trust you thoroughly. 

Sir J. 
You may. 

Lady V. 

[Going off.] In half an hour? 

Sir J. 
In half an hour ! 



Quick Curtain. 



ioo 




ACT III. 



Scene. — The back drawing-room at Mr. Har- 
dolph Mayne's, Saville Street. A hand- 
somely furnished room in the same house as 
Act I. On the left a large fireplace with fire 
burning. On the back up right a door. Along 
left at back velvet shutting off the front draw- 
ing-room. A small space of wall between the 
door and curtains. 

Discover Hardolph Mayne pacing up and 
down the room. Knapman and Mrs. Knap- 
man are standing in a constrained, uncomfort- 
able attitude. 1 

Mayne. 

Now I ask you once more — You heard me tell Mr. 
and Mrs. Ta vender that I'd telegraphed to her lady- 
ship to come up from Oxfordshire and lunch with 
me that day? 

Knap. 

I believe you did mention something about it, sir — 
eh, Eliza? 

Mayne. 

Then why didn't you tell me that her ladyship was 
in town, and that she had stayed the night here? 
[Pause.] Why don't you answer me? 

Knap. 

Well sir, I've been with you now over four years, 

and I hope I've always given satisfaction 

roi 



« Mrs. K. R. C. 
Knapman 
Mayne at fire- 
place. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Mayne. [With an impatient gesture] 

Why didn't you tell me that her ladyship had left 
the house only a few minutes before ? 

Knap. [Very uncomfortable.] 
Well [Appeals to Mrs. Knapman.] Eliza — 

Mrs. K. 
Your memory again, Knapman. 

Knap. 
That's the only way I can account for it 

Mayne. 

You tell me that Now, for the last time, will 

you tell me the truth, or must I send for Mr. Cat- 
termoul to get it out of you ? [Pause.] Which is 
it to be? 

Knap. 

Well, sir, I put it to you, supposing you had been 
placed in our circumstances 



Mayne. 
What circumstances ? 

Knap. 

The circumstances in which we then found our- 
selves placed. 

Mayne. 

But [Frantic gesture, calms himself.] Will 

you tell me what the circumstances were? 

Knap. 

Well, sir, on the one hand there was yourself, sir, 
and your happiness and all the consequences that 

were entailed 

1 02 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Go on — well ? 



Mayne. 



Knap. 



On the other hand there was her ladyship and her 
ladyship's family and position 



Well? Well? 



Mayne. 



Knap. 



On the third hand there was Sir Joseph ; and having 
lived in his family for fifteen years [an angry ges- 
ture from Mayne] — not that I wish to defend him 
in the least, sir. Eliza knows, and Heaven knows, 
that if I'd had the least suspicion anything was 
wronsr 



[Maddened.] 



Mayne. 

What do you mean? 

Knap. 

Well, sir, as I say, on the one hand there was your- 
self and my duty towards you ; on the other hand 
there was her ladyship and Sir Joseph, and all I 
can assure you, sir, is that I was actuated solely by 
a desire to spare your feelings 

Mayne. [Angrily.] 

My feelings! What business have you to consider 
my feelings? 

Knap. 

Well, sir, I did consider them. I hope I was right 
in so doing. I talked it over with Mrs. Knap- 
man [Glancing at Mrs. Knapman. 

Mayne. 
Talked what over? 

Knap. 

What we've now been talking about, sir. 

103 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Mrs. K. cros- 
ses to c. 



Mayne. 

Mrs. Knapman, will you please tell me what you 
know about this ? 1 

Mrs. K. 

Oh, if you please, sir, I'd rather not mention any- 
thing that would perpetrate against her ladyship ; 
a better or kinder mistress never lived, though liable 
to the temptation of her sect, the same as all of 
us 

Mayne. 

Will you answer my question? When her ladyship 
arrived in town what did she say to you ? 

Mrs. K. [With slow, constrained manner as of an 
unwilling witness.] 

After Lady Joyce had gone, her ladyship said, " I 
shall want some breakfast in the morning." 



* Furious g e s- 
ture. 



What did you say ? 



Mayne. 



Mrs. K. 



* Moves down 

L. C. 



* Mayne turns to 
her. 



I said, " Yes, my lady. Would you prefer a sole 
or ham and eggs " — oh sir, she's more sinned 
against than sinning. 

Mayne. 2 

Will you please tell me what her ladyship said? 

Mrs. K. 
She said, " A sole will do," or words to that effect. 

Mayne. 3 



What else? 



Mrs. K. 



Well, sir, when her ladyship asked me not to men- 
tion that she was in town 4 

104 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 

Her ladyship asked you not to mention she was in 
town ! Why didiv t you tell me that before ? 

Mrs. K. 

Well, sir, Knapman and me thought it wouldn't be 
judicious. 

Mayne. 

Judicious ! — Good heaven ! 

Mrs. K. 

And also Mr. Tavender advised us to say nothing 
about it. 

Mayne. 

Mr. Tavender advised you 



Enter Footman at door. 1 

Footman. 

If you please, sir, Mr. Fanmere and Mr. Tavender 
are here. I've shown them into the drawing-room. 

[Indicating curtains. 

Fanmere enters through curtains, followed by 
Tavender. 

Fan. 2 

My dear Hardolph, we were shown into the next 
room, and we couldn't help overhearing 

Tav. 
[Who has followed Fanmere.] 
How d'ye do, Hardolph ? 3 

Mayne. 

Harry, did you advise my servants to — to say 
nothing about this business? 

105 



1 The Knapmans 
move a little 

to R. C. 



* The footman 
exit R. The 
Knapmans get 



! Comes doivn c. 
cautiously and 
fearfully. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Tav. glares at 
Mrs. K. 



Tav. 
What ? 1 My dear Hardolph ! 

Mrs. K. 

Oh sir, I asked you that very morning whether 
Knapman and me ought to hold our tongues, and 
you said " Certainly " 

Tav. 

Well, of all the infernal — what next in the name of 
all that's— well — I 

Mrs. K. 

Oh sir, don't go back on her poor ladyship now she's 
in misfortune. I can testify anywhere, before any- 
body 

Mayne. [Interrupting.'] 

Yes — yes. [Waves the Knapmans to go off.] I'll 
see you both later. 

Mrs. K. 

I can testify anywhere that Knapman and me have 
said nothing but what was truthful — under the cir- 
cumstances. 2 [Exit. 3 
Knap. 

I trust I've always done my duty to the family, and 
I trust I always shall. [Exit. 4 

Tav. 

That's a pretty lying couple you've got there, Har- 
dolph 

Mayne. 5 

Yes, I've got a pretty set of friends and servants 
altogether, haven't I ? 6 

Tav. 

You don't believe what that woman says about my 
telling her to hold her tongue! 
1 06 



* She goes up to 
door R. fol- 
lowed by 
Knapman. 



8 Fan. and Tav. 
come down c. 



6 Crosses to R. 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 

I believe nothing ! I believe nobody ! You all saw 
this thing going on, and not one of you had the 
courage and the kindness to give me a hint, and 
open my eyes ! And you call yourselves my 
friends ! 

Fan. 

I've been trying all the afternoon to get at the 
truth 

Mayne. 
Truth ! 1 

Fan. [With a soothing gesture.] 

Now, my dear Hardolph, if you'll only be calm and 
listen to what I have to say 2 

Mayne. 
Well — go on — have you got at the truth ? 3 

Fan. 

Well, I hope so. I've questioned Jo Lacy very 
closely and 

Mayne. 
Well? 

Fan. 

I was watching him all the while, Harry was watch- 
ing him, too 

[Appealing to Tavender 4 to back him up; 
Tavender gets more and more uncom- 
fortable. 



Yes? Yes? Yes? 



Mayne. 



Fan. 



Now, my dear Hardolph, you know you aren't quite 
in a fit state to judge of this, you're too excited 

107 



1 Goes tip r. 



2 Fa n . follows 
Mayne up a 
little. 



They come 

down R. c. 
again. 



4 Tavender is c. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Tav. nods ap- 
provingly. 



* Goes down r. 



Mayne. 
Tell me what you have found out! 

, Fan. 

Well, from Jo Lacy's manner, after a — after a good 
deal of thinking it over — Harry and I have come to 
the conclusion that the whole thing is a mistake; x 
and there's absolutely nothing in it. 

Mayne. 
What questions did you put? What does he say? 

Fan. 
He gives you his word of honor 

Mayne. 

His word of honor! 2 — what the devil do I care for 
his word of honor? 

Fan. 

Now, my dear Hardolph 

[Trying to soothe him. 

Mayne. 

Will nobody give me a plain answer? Will nobody 
tell me to my face what a fool I've been ? 3 Harry, 
how long has this been going on? How long have 
you known of it? 

Tav. 
My dear boy 

Mayne. 

Will you have the kindness to tell me exactly what 
you saw that morning ? 

Tav. [Lamely.'] 
My dear boy, I assure you 

Mayne. [Makes an impatient gesture.] 

No — no — tell me what you saw ! 
1 08 



* Crossing c. 
to favender. 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Tav. 

Nothing, my dear boy ! nothing at all ! Cissy and 
I came into the morning-room downstairs ; Jo Lacy 
and Vee happened to be there 



At breakfast ? 



Mayne. 



Tav. 



Yes — [Getting more and more uncomfortable — 
Fanmere encourages him by signs.] Yes — I be- 
lieve they were at breakfast — and upon my word, 
Hardolph, I assure you, my dear fellow 

Mayne. 
" You assure me " — what ? 

Tav. 

Well — a — [Encouraged by signs from Fanmere, 
makes a bold plunge.'] Judging from Jo Lacy's 
and Vee's manner, it struck me as a perfectly 
natural innocent sort of thing, you know. 

Mayne. 

What struck you as a perfectly natural innocent sort 
of thing? 

Tav. [Getting still further out of his depth.] 

Well — a — the whole affair. I said so to Cissy at 
the time. 

Mayne. 

What did you say to Cissy? 

Tav. [Getting more and more uncomfortable.] 

I said Jo and Vee seem to be — a — getting on — a — 
very comfortably 



Mayne. 



What?! 



109 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Tav. 

I can't give you the exact words, but I said — Jo and 
Vee happen to have run up against each other — out 
of the season — "Very natural thing," I said; and 
Cissy said, " Oh, quite natural " ; and I said, " You 
can tell from their manner there's nothing in it," 
and Cissy said, " Yes, if it weren't for their manner 
I should have thought it rather a curious coincid- 
ence^ " 



1 Mayne glares 
at TavencUr 
•who nods and 
smiles in a 
feeble sickly 
way. 



^Looking to 
Fanmere to 
help Aim out 
of it. 



4 Goes up c. 

6 Going up R. c. 
to Mayne. 



6 F a n. and 
Mayne come 
down c. to- 
gether. 



Curious coincidence ! 



Mayne. 



Tav. 



Yes, and I said, " Oh no, oh no, it's- 
natural and innocent." 1 



-it's perfectly 



Mayne. 

That Jo Lacy and my wife should arrive at my 
house late one night, and that they should be break- 
fasting tete-a-tete the next morning. That struck 
you as a perfectly natural and innocent sort of thing, 
eh? 

Tav. [Most uncomfortable] 
Yes — a — nothing extraordinary — eh Fanny ? 2 

Fan. 3 
You mustn't judge by appearances 

Mayne. 

No, nor by facts ! Nor by what everybody knows ! 
Nor by what I know myself! Nor by what I see 
with my own eyes ! 4 

Fan. 5 

Well, Harry and I were very much impressed by Jo 
Lacy's manner this afternoon, weren't we, Harry? 6 



Tav. 



Yes- 



no 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 
You thought he was innocent? 

Tav. 
Struck me so, I assure you. 

Mayne. 

You thought he and Lady Verona were innocent 
that morning? 

Tav. 
Yes. 

Mayne. 

Then why have you gone about repeating this in 
club smoking-rooms, to men like Pyecroft and his 
set — repeating it as if they were guilty? 



Eh? well- 



Tav. 



Mayne. 



Give me your word of honor, when you found them 
that morning you believed them to be innocent. 
[Pause.] Why don't you speak? 



Tav. 



Well— I- 



Mayne. 

Your sacred word of honor as a gentleman, you be- 
lieved them to be innocent. 

Tav. [Drazving back.] 

Well, of course that was my impression. I may 
have been mistaken. 

Mayne. 

Ah! [To Fanmere.] You see I 1 

Fan. 

All the same, my dear Hardolph 2 

in 



1 Crosses down 



1 Goes to Mayne. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Mayne. 

All the same, I mean to be fooled no longer. 

[Scats himself down to writing-table, 1 be- 
gins to write hurriedly. 2 

Fan. 

What are you going to do ? 3 



* Fan. and Tav. 
exchange 
looks. 



3 Tav. comes to 



* Fan. beckons to 
Tav. Tav. 
comes K. C. 



8 'Tav . nudges 
Fan. to say 
something. 



4 Mayne says his 
last line short 
and snappy as 
if he intended 
it as a snub to 
Fan. and for 
the latter to go 
away. 



T Mo v in g up 
■while speak- 
ing. 

8 R i s e s and 
crosses to i- 
■with it. Pres- 
ses electric but- 
ton below fire- 
place and then 
reads letter 
and places it 
on envelope 
and seals it. 



Mayne. 

I'm writing to Cattermoul to come and take my in- 
structions, and begin an action. 4 

Tav. 

I shouldn't rush it if I were you. [Pause.] Can't 
anything be done? 

Mayne. 
Nothing. [Continues writing.] Good-day. 5 

Fan. 

I'll come in again to-night or to-morrow. I hope 
you'll think better of it. [Mayne shakes his head.] 
Where is Vee? 



I don't know. 6 



Come along, Harry- 



Mayne. 



Fan. 



[Pausing at door — (shrugs his shoulders) 
goes off quickly. 

Tav. 

Well, tata for the present, Hardolph. 7 I shouldn't 
rush it, you know ! Hope it will turn out all right. 
Anything I can do — anything in this world — only 
too happy — Tata ! 

[Exit at door after Fanmere. Mayne 8 
has finished letter, and addressed it. 

112 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Enter Knapman. 

Mayne. 1 

You will take this letter to Mr. Cattermoul in Bed- 
ford Row, and wait for an answer. 

Knap. 

Yes, sir. [Takes letter, goes towards door, stops.'] 
I wish to say, sir, that all through this painful catas- 
trophe, Mrs. Knapman and I have acted 



Mayne. [Impatiently.] 



Yes, yes- 



Knap. 

Have acted in accordance with your happiness, sir, 
and the best interests of all the parties concerned. 

Mayne. 

Yes, yes ; take that letter. 

[Knapman goes to door. Mayne stands 
a moment in indecision — then calls. 

Mayne. 
Knapman ! 2 

Mayne. 

Give me that letter. I have omitted something. 
[Taking letter from Knapman. 3 Knapman is 
going.] Knapman, is her ladyship still in her 
room? 

Knap. 4 

No, sir. Her ladyship went out about an hour ago. 
Mrs. Knapman happened to observe that her lady- 
ship called a hansom off the rank. 

[Exit Knapman. 5 Mayne stands letter in 
hand tortured with indecision for a mo- 
ment or two. 

Footman enters through curtains at back. 6 

"3 



Bellri?igs off?* 

1 At fire. 



2 K ?i a p m a n 
comes down C 
■with letter. 



3 Crosses to desk 



4 Goes up R. 



5 A t door. 



6 Comes R. C, 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Footman. 
Mr. Pyecroft is in the drawing-room, sir. 

Mayne. 
Show him in here. 

Footman. 
Will you step this way, sir? 

Pyecroft enters through curtains at back, Foot- 
man announces " Mr. Pyecroft." 
[Exit Footman. 1 ] 

Pyecroft. 2 

My dear Hardolph — [shaking hands] forgive my 
intruding. I hope all domestic — ripples shall T call 
them — have subsided ? 



Goes to l. side 
of curtains. 



1 Through cur- 
tains. 

2 Coming dmvn 

R. C. 



4 Beating the 
letter in his 
hand against 
the other 
hand. 



No. 4 



Mayne. 3 



Pye. 



You surely haven't taken any serious notice of my 
foolish babble? 

Mayne. 

Yes. I've made further inquiries ; your foolish 
babble as you call it has been confirmed, fully con- 
firmed. 

Pye. 

I'm sorry. 

Mayne. 

So I have no option but to carry the thing through 
to the end. 

Pye. 
Is that necessary? 

Mayne. 

You don't expect me to sit down calmly and see my 
honor dragged through the dirt ? Is that what you 
advise? 

114 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Pye. 

I never advise in these affairs. I am a mere spec- 
tator of our very imperfect system of monogamy; 
I look on with no prejudices, no principles, and I 
am thankful to say, no honor. 



No honor ? 



Mayne. 



Pye. 



None whatever. I have never missed it or wanted 
it. And the only difference between me and my 
neighbors is, that while we all act towards women- 
kind ° in exactly the same way, and are equally 
plagued by them, I spare myself the trouble of hav- 
ing to look after my honor, in addition to having 
to look after the lady who is deceiving me. And 
I also spare my friends a deal of windy talk about 
that same honor, which I am lucky enough not to 
possess. 

Mayne. 1 

Pyecroft, this is monstrous ! 2 But you'd see things 
differently if you were married ! 3 

Pye. 4 

Even in that last extremity I question whether my 
judgment would be warped. My dear Hardolph, 
just look calmly for a moment at this great matri- 
monial hurlyburly. What a mess poor crazy old 
Dame Nature has made of the whole business! 
What infinity of dodging and deceit and trickery 
she forces upon us to work her silly unworkable 
scheme! And how we all try to cover her mis- 
takes and our weakness with words, words, words, 
and shams, shams, shams ! What does the wise 
man do? A week ago, before you heard my silly 

club chatter, you were happy 

n5 



Mayne sits R. 
at desk. 



1 Rises. 

2 Crosses to C 

3 Goes L. C. 

4 Going c. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



Mayne. 

I was in a fool's paradise. Thank God I'm out of 

it! 1 

Pye. 2 



1 Sits in chair 
belmv fire L. 

2 Standing L. c. 



s Goes to Mayne 
and taps hitn 
on the shoul- 
der. 

4 Rises. 



6 Going to C. 



6 Pointing to the 
letter in his 
hand. 



Why? What will you do? Find another fool's 
paradise? With another Eve? Will you be any 
more secure in that? Yes, till some kind chance 
opens your eyes again ! And then ? Then you'll 
rave again about " wounded honor," and " vindicat- 
ing honor " and " dragging your honor in the 
dust " and all that stale claptrap. My dear Har- 
dolph, why not, why not, put yourself outside of it 
for a moment and see the absurdity of the whole 
affair? Treat it as a comedy, and a comedy it be- 
comes ! Treat it as a tragedy, and by God, it is a 
tragedy; and you break your heart! Come, come, 
my dear Hardolph, shut your eyes and join the 
laughers ! 3 

Mayne. 

No ! 4 Pyecroft, you don't know what this means 
to me, or you wouldn't talk like this. It's an insult 
to my manhood ! 5 

Pye. 

Forgive me, I only wished to ease the situation for 
you. What have you there ? 6 

Mayne. 

A letter to my lawyer, asking him to come here and 
take my instructions. 



Suppose- 
What? 



Pye. 

Mayne. 

Pye. 7 



Suppose Lacy wished to go abroad- 
1.16 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Damn him ! ° 



Mayne. 



Pye. 



Certainly. Damn him. And then send him out of 
England for some years ? 



No! 



Mayne. 



Pye. 



Shall I sound him, and try to arrange ? 



No! 1 



Mayne. 



Pye. 



At any rate let the matter rest for a day or two. 
Mayne. 



No! 



Pye. 



Suppose after a week or two you elect to take the 
comedy view of the situation : [Mayne shakes his 
head] or suppose the cruellest thing of all — sup- 
pose when you've dragged your honor and her 
honor through the divorce court, suppose you find 
you love her after all 

Mayne makes a desperate gesture and sits down, 2 
covering his face with his hands. Lady Ve- 
rona enters. 3 

Pye. 
How d'ye do, Lady Vee ? 

Lady V. 



How d'ye do? 4 



Moves to down 



1 Pyccroft shrugs 
his shoulders. 



i By desk. 

3 Through cur- 
tains. 

' Shaking kands. 
She crosses 
over to fire- 
place, Mayne 
■watching her, 
puts her feet 
on fender and 
warms them, 
standing ■with 
her back to 
them. Pye- 
croft is wait- 
ing to take his 
leave. 



117 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 G oe s do w n 
R. C. 



* Looks at Lady 

V. 

* R. May n e 
rises. Lady 

Verona still 
s/ a tnls at fire, 
her back to 
May ne who 
watches her a 
moment or 
two. 

4 R. c. 

6 Without turn- 
ing round. 

6 He makes an 

angry gesture 
and gets up c. 

7 After a pause. 



* Places the letter 
on small table 
u/> l.. c. 

9 J'ltrus. 



ln Lady V. comes 
L. c. 



Pye. 1 
Good-bye, my dear Hardolph. 

Mayne. [To him, in a low voice.] 

No — come back in a little while when I've spoken 
to her. 

Pye. 

Au revoir, 2 I shouldn't send that. 

[Pointing to letter in Mayne's hand. Exit 
Pyecroft. 3 

Mayne. 4 
Have you nothing to say to me ? 

Lady V. 5 
Good morning. 6 

Mayne. 7 

I mean to get at the truth of this affair. 

Lady V. 

Can I help you in any way ? 

Mayne. 

Please don't trifle with me. This is a letter to Cat- 
termoul. — In less than an hour this matter will be 
out of my hands. 8 

Lady V. 9 
Hadn't you better wait and see Jo Lacy? 

Mayne. 
See him? 10 

Lady V. 

He's now on his way here. 

[Taking a book, seating herself quietly 11 
her back to him and reading it during 
following scene. 
u8 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 



On his way here ? 



Lady V. [Looking up from her book.] 

I've just left him. [Returning to her book.] 
Would you like to know what passed between us? 

[Slight pause.] 

Mayne. [Sternly.] 
If you please. 

Lady V. [Smiling.] 

Well, my dear Hardolph, you must own my posi- 
tion is a very serious one. 



Serious? 



Mayne. 
Lady V. 



Well, isn't it? I've told you the truth, you don't 
believe me. I would tell you the other thing if I 
could think of one that would satisfy you. But I 
can't. So I thought I'd just call and see what I 
might expect from Jo Lacy — in case 



In case of what ? 



Mayne. 



Lady V. 



Well, it's only common prudence for me to — well- 
a — make some arrangements for my future 



Your future? 



Mayne. 



Lady V. 



When you turn me out of doors. So my dear Har- 
dolph, don't be a dog in the manger about me; and 

119 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



don't say I didn't give you the first chance of re- 
taining - my poor services. 

[Reads her book. Mayne walks madly 
about the room. 1 



1 Comes down 



* R i sr s and 
stands. 



Mayne. [Looks at her.] 

I suppose Lacy told you he was dying to take you 
off my hands. [Lady Verona looks up from her 
book, smiles at him, and goes on with her reading.] 
Did he? 

Lady V. [Looking up again.] 

I'll tell you a secret. I only said that to make you 
wild. 

Mayne. 
Then it isn't the truth ? 

Lady V. 

I won't say that — as a matter of fact I believe he is 
— well — if not dying — at least quite willing to take 
me off your hands. But when I told you so, I 
wasn't sure of it. I only said it 



To make me wild ! 2 



Mayne. 



Lady V. 



Yes, and I succeeded, didn't I? [Laughing at him.] 
You remember the morning you left for Scotland ! 
It made you so wild that you actually banged the 
handle off my bedroom door. By the way, it has 
never been mended. 

Mayne. [Beside himself.] 

I daresay not ! 

[Seeing her startled look of indignation. 

Mayne. [Ashamed.] 

I beg your pardon. 

1 20 



SD. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



1 G oe s ufi r. 

Tlien comes c. 



Lady V. 

Yes, I think you should. 

[Goes back to her book. He walks about 
looking furtively at her} 

Mayne. [At length.'] 
Vee, I've no wish to carry this to extremes. 

Lady V. 
Then, my dear Hardolph, don't go one inch further. 

Mayne. 

If it can be avoided. [She laughs a little laugh over 
her book.] You must see I can't let this rest where 
it is. 2 If you are innocent 



2 Lady V. puts 
her book down 



Lady V. 

If? If?!!! [Laughs, rises, comes up to him.] Do 
I look very guilty ? 

Mayne. Looks at her very keenly.] 

I don't know. Mrs. Knapman says you told her to 
hide from me that you were in town that night. Is 
that true? 

Lady V. 
I asked her not to mention that I was in town. 

Mayne. 

Why? 

Lady V. 

I've told you that I came on a little private business 
of Joyce's. Joyce will be here directly, and then 
you can ask her all about it. If she tells you 

Mayne. 
If she tells me 

Lady V. 

You'll know all about it. 3 8 G , oes a ste * to 

121 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Mayne. 

All about what? Joyce left before "he" came, 
didn't she? 

Lady V. 

I suppose so. I was sound asleep when " he " 
came. 

Mayne. 

But what had Joyce to do with Lacy's coming here 
— his staying here the night? [No answer.] You 
don't deny that you and Lacy both arrived that 
night ? 

Lady V. 
No. 

Mayne. 

You don't deny that you came to me in Scotland 
and never said a word about it to me ? 



1 Crosses to R. 



Lady V. 
No, No ! Oh I deny nothing ! * 

Mayne. 

You don't deny you gave instructions to my servants 
to lie to me — you stooped to that 

Lady V. 

Ah, what is that, please ? What have I stooped to ? 

Mayne. 

You have thrown dust in my eyes ! You are all of 
you in a league against me ! You and your friends 
and your servants ! My friends ! My servants ! 
They come to me with lies so palpable, so thick, they 
can't swallow them. I see, I feel, I know, I've 
been deceived. I, good heavens, my servants pity 
me! I see it in their faces. [Going to her and 
losing all self-control.] I say you have deceived 
me with this man! If you haven't, satisfy me! 
Satisfy me, I say, or 

122 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Lady V. 
Or what ? 

Mayne. [Getting desperate.] 

Throw yourself on my mercy ! Confess ! [Seising 
her hands violently x she looks at him contemptu- 
ously. .] Tell me the truth, I say 

Lady V. 
You're hurting me! 

Mayne. 

Confess ! I will know the truth. 



He forces her 
into chair by 
desk. 



Lady V. [Very calm.]' 
You're hurting me ! I bruise very easily. 

Mayne. 
I must know ! I will know ! 

Lady V. 

IWill you please release me? 

[He releases her. 2 She is going out of the 
room. z He quickly intercepts her. 

Mayne. [Imploringly.] 

No, Vee, don't leave me. Don't go! Vee, tell me 
the worst ! I'll try to forgive you ! I will forgive 
you. 4 [Takes the letter from table and tears it up.] 
There ! I'll face the worst with you ! Vee, I love 
you ! I can't help loving you. We'll go out of the 



country and live this down, 
forgive you ! 



Vee, do you hear, I'll 



Lady V. [Very calmly and proudly.] 
Thank you. That is quite unnecessary ! 

Is sweeping by him to curtains, when Footman en- 
ters 5 and announces "Sir Joseph Lacy." 

Enter Sir Joseph. Exit Footman. 

123 



1 He goes up c. 

* By moving up 
R. injront 0/ 
her. 



* She crosses to 
down L. 



B At door. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Moves d oiv n 
right. 



* Facing l. 



Sir J. 1 

How d'ye do, my dear Mayne? 

[Mayne turns angrily from Sir Joseph. 2 
Sir Joseph looks inquiringly at Lady 
Verona, zvho shrugs her shoulders and 
makes a little grimace of despair behind 
Mayne's back. 

Sir J. 

Now, my dear Mayne, let us have a cosy three- 
cornered chat, and put this awkward little matter 
right. 

Mayne. 

I am surprised at your — your 

Sir J. 

My impudence! My infernal impudence? Not at 
all. Believe me I've come in a spirit of the purest 
friendship. 

Mayne. 
Friendship ! 

Sir J. 

Why not ? The last time you and I met we parted 
the best of friends — and we shall to-day. 



You think so? 
I'm sure we shall. 



Mayne. 
Sir J. 



Mayne. 
You forget what has happened. 

Sir J. 



Nothing. 



Nothing? 



Mayne. 



124 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Nothing. 
Nothing? 



Sir J. 

Mayne. 

Sir J. 



Nothing. Lady Verona and I are both here, and 
we are only to anxious 

Mayne. 

Anxious ! 1 

Sir J. 

Only too anxious to satisfy you. 2 
Vee? 



Aren't we, Lady 



Lady V. 3 



My dear Jo, I am only too anxious to have nothing 
further to say or do in the matter. 4 

Sir J. [Uneasily.] 

No — no — [looking from one to the other] still, 
we'd better give him the exact particulars, eh ? 

Lady V. 

I have given him the exact particulars — twenty 
times at least. 

Sir J. 

Well then we must give him the exact particulars 
just once more, eh? [Coming cordially up to 
Mayne.] Give him just one more chance of 
making himself quite comfortable about it, eh, Har- 
dolph? 

Mayne. [Fiercely.] 
I am in no mood to be trifled with. 

Sir J. [Hastily.] 

No — no — I see you're not. 5 Come now, Lady Vee, 
let us simply tell him the plain facts. 

125 



1 Goes up 



2 Crosses to L. C. 



* Doivn L. 



4 Mayne comes 
dmvn R. c. 



8 Goes to Lady 
V. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



Lady V. 
It's perfectly useless. He won't listen 

Sir J. 

Oh, I'm sure he will, 1 he'll listen to reason, won't 
you, Mayne? 



1 Going- back to 
Mayne. 



* Cross e s t < 
I^ady V. 



Crosses to c. 
and appeals to 
Sir J., -who is 
R. C. 



No — a- 
Ah 



Mayne. 
Lady V. 

Mayne. 

I shall not listen to any cut-and-dried story that 
may be concocted for the purpose 

Lady V. 
Concocted! [To Sir J.] There! You see! 

Mayne. 
Concocted for the purpose of 

Sir J. 

No! No! My dear Hardolph — you shan't listen 
to any cut-and-dried story, and we won't concoct 
anything, will we, Lady Vee? 

Lady V. [Wearily.'] 

Yes! No! Yes! No! Oh, I don't know. I'm 
ready to concoct anything. 

Mayne. [To Sir J.] 

You see ! 2 But you always were the most impos- 
sible 

Lady V. 

I? Impossible! I? 3 You see! Impossible! [To 
Mayne.] Do you remember the morning you left 

for Scotland 

126 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 
When you told me that Lacy was dying to take 



you 

Lady V. 
Do you remember the Post Office at Henley? 

Mayne. 

The Post Office at Henley has nothing to do with 
this! 

Sir J. 
That's just what I was thinking 



Lady V. [To Mayne.] 

After your conduct in the Post Office I ought to 
have left you at once. 

Mayne. 
That would have spared me this scandal. 

Lady V. 

Spare yourself, my dear Hardolph, if you wish to 
be spared. 1 And if you won't spare yourself, at 
least have the kindness to spare me. [She is sweep- 
ing off. 2 Sir J. goes up and stops her.] 

Sir J. [Intercepting her at the door, he takes her 
arm. ] 

No, no, my dear Lady Vee, we can't leave it like 
this [very coaxingly.] Come now, let's give him 
one last chance. 3 I'm sure he's only waiting to 
make it up, eh ? 

Mayne. 4 [Indignantly.] 

Lacy, I think it most unbecoming of you — under 

the circumstances 

127 



1 Goes up c. 



2 Door r. 



s Bringing her 
down. 



4 Crosses to l. c. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



* Starting away 
from Lady V. 



* Goes up c. then 
to fireplace L. 

* Comes to c. 



Sir J. 1 

Quite so, my dear fellow — I'd quite forgotten it for 
the moment ! I beg - your pardon. Now, my dear 
Mayne, my dear Lady Vee, just one more try to put 
it all straight. [Mayne shows impatience.] You 
won't refuse to listen to me. 

Mayne. [Sternly.] 
Go on ! [Lady V. shrugs her shoulders. 2 

Sir J. 3 

Well — I had come up from Devonshire that morn- 
ing — My man, Staddon happened to be laid up with 
chicken-pox 

Mayne. 
Chicken-pox ! 

Sir J. 

Yes, chicken-pox. Well, when I arrived at Pad- , 
dington, I found that I had lost my luggage — 
[Mayne makes an impatient exclamation.] Upon 
my soul, I had ! Well, — I'd lost my luggage — my 
club happened to be closed for cleaning — and as I 
strolled along the street outside — [Mayne shows 
impatience.] Knapman happened to be leaning out 
of the window 

Mayne. 
I daresay ! 

Sir J. 

" Hallo, Knapman ! " I said, — Well, he asked me 
to come in, and 



Mayne. 

Yes, and Lady Verona happened to have come up 

the same evening, eh ? 

Sir J. 

Yes, yes ! I know it sounds rather silly, but upon 
my word — it's the truth, Mayne. 
128 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 
Yes, I've already heard the same story 

Sir J. 

We can scarcely call it a story. Let's call it an 
amusing little episode with a happy ending 

Mayne. 
A happy ending? 

Sir J. 

Yes, my dear Mayne, either for you or for me. 
You must decide which. 



You mean then- 



Mayne. 

[Looks from one to the other. 

Sir J. 

Come, you surely won't break up your home and 
ruin your life and happiness and hers, because Lady 
Verona happened to give me a very simple breakfast 
consisting of two cups of coffee — or three, Lady 
Verona ? 



Lady V. 



Three. 



Sir J. 

Three cups of coffee and half a very moderate sized 
sole. You'll take my word of honor that my pres- 
ence here was a pure accident, that I entered this 
house that night your loyal friend, that I left it your 
loyal friend? 

[Extends his hand to Mayne who refuses to 
take it, but regards them suspiciously. 

Mayne. 

You two have been talking this over together this 
afternoon? 

129 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



1 Coming L. c. 



' Sir J. moves 
down R. 



3 Returns to fire- 
place. 



Sir J. 

Certainly. Why not? 

Mayne. 

And you came to the conclusion that the best plan 
would be for you to come here and give me your 
word of honor and so put things straight. 



Certainly. 



Sir J. 



Lady V. 1 



If I were guilty should I have brought him to this 
house? Would he have come to you in this frank 
way ? 

Mayne. 

No — I don't know — yes — of course it's the very 
thing you would have done — just to throw dust in 
my eyes — as you all are doing — Fancourt, Taven- 
der — my servants 2 

Lady V. [Shrugs her shoulders.] 
You see ? 3 

Mayne. [Tortured, funis to Sir Joseph.] 

Tell me this, Lacy — how many times have you given 
your word of honor in affairs of this kind ? 

Sir J. [Startled.] 

What ? Oh, my dear fellow ! 

Mayne. 
Answer me, please. 

Sir J. [After a longish pause.] 
I really don't remember. What's that to do with 
this? 

Mayne. 

Tell me this then: suppose — suppose what I think 
130 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



were true — would you or would you not be ready 
to give your word of honor to save a woman's 
reputation? [Pause.] Yes or No! 

Sir J. 
Certainly — I should. 

Mayne. 
You would try to save her — even if she were guilty ? 

Sir J. 

Certainly I should play the game as we English- 
men understand it. 

Mayne. 

Ah! And you expect me to believe you after 
that? 1 

Sir J. 

My dear Mayne, you can believe me or not, as you 
please. In any case we won't quarrel about it. 2 

Mayne. 
We won't quarrel about it ? 

Sir J. 

Why should we? Either you accept my word— in 
that case we shall part good friends ; or you don't 
accept my word— in that case we shall part very 
much better friends still. 

Mayne. 
Ah, you own it! You own you are only waiting 
your chance to take her off my hands ! Is that so ? 
[Looking from one to the other. 

Sir J. 

You may be sure that whatever responsibility I have 
incurred as to Lady Verona's future, I shall be 
ready to take it up at the right moment. Do you 

m 



1 Turns away to 



1 May7ie turns 
to him. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. i 



wish me to understand that the right moment has 
come? 

Mayne. [Goes to Lady Verona appealingly.] 

Have you nothing to say? Won't you give me a 
chance to hush it up ? 

Lady V. 

My dear Hardolph, certainly, hush it up by all 
means ! 

Sir J. 

For the last time, Mayne, I give you my word of 

honor 1 

Mayne. 



1 Going' to 
Mayne. 



1 Mayne goes up 



3 Coming dmun 

c. 
Sir J. goes up 

R. to door. 



Sir J. conies 
to table by 
chair L. C. 



Your word of honor ! Give me some proof. Some 
proof, I say. 2 

Sir J. [Shrugs Jiis shoulders, to Lady Verona.] 
Lady Verona, I trust I have acted throughout as 

you would wish 

Lady V. 

Thank you, yes, Sir Joseph. 

Sir J. 

Is there anything more I can do ? 

Lady V. 

Nothing, thank you [looking at Mayne], matters 
are very well as they are. 



Ah ! 3 



Mayne. 



Sir J. 



I shall remain in town. If anything arises to prove 
to Mayne that he is mistaken 4 

Lady V. [With great bitterness.] 

Is- it worth while to prove to him that he is mis- 
taken ? 

132 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Sir J. 

Rely that I shall make the best fight I can for your 
reputation. And if I fail, I hope the situation will 
not be utterly unbearable for you. 1 



Lacy 



?3 



Mayne. 2 



Mayne. 



If I look over this — Pyecroft said you would be 
willing to leave England 

Sir J. 

Certainly. If that will meet the case — and if Lady 
Verona wishes it. 

[Looking inquiringly to Lady Verona. 

Mayne. [Savagely.] 

If she wishes it ! Are you determined to ruin her ? 

Sir J. 

No, I want to save her. 4 I put myself entirely in 
your hands. I pledge myself to leave England and 
stay away as long as you please. Will that satisfy 
you? 

Mayne. 

Very well, I'll condone it ! 

Lady V. [Indignantly.] 

Condone?! Condone?! 5 

Sir J. [Hushing her down.] 6 

Lady Verona, let it stand at that for the time. I'll 
leave England to-morrow for — oh, say for life. 7 
I shall soon be forgotten — this affair will soon be 
forgotten, and by-and-by he will understand. — 
Good-bye ! 

Lady V. 

Sir Joseph, no ! An hour ago I begged you to clear 

133 



1 Goes up to doer 
R. opens it, and 
is going out 
when Mayne 
stops him. 

- Goes up to door. 

3 Sir Joseph clo- 
ses door. 



4 Walks down a 
step or two in 
deliberation 
and turns. 



5 Drops down L. 



6 Sir J. goes 
down L. c. to 
her. 

7 Mayne comes 

down r. c. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



me from this scandal. Thank you for all you have 
done. Please don't try to clear me any more. I 
don't wish to be cleared ! 

Mayne. 
What are you going to do ? 

Lady V. 

I'm going to leave this house with Sir Joseph, i£ 
he'll take me. 

Sir J. [Overjoyed.] 
Do you wish that ? Do you really wish that ? 

Lady V. 

Yes. I will be perfectly faithful to you as I have 
been perfectly faithful to him. 1 [To Mayne, who 
makes a gesture.] Yes, perfectly faithful! You 
can believe that now or no as you please. For the 
future it will make no difference to me what you 
believe ! You will have no right to question me ! 

Mayne. [Staggered.] 
I don't know what to believe ! I don't know 



1 Sir J. moves 



Vee! 
what to do ! 



Lady V. 



• Turns to chair 



Do? Surely only one thing remains for you to do 
— go to Cattermoul. Isn't that your hat? [Point- 
ing to hat which has been on table all through — 
Mayne snatches tip hat.] Yes, go to Cattermoul! 
And please don't condone anything! I won't be 
condoned ! I don't want to be condoned ! I want 
to be punished as I deserve, for being a faithful wife 
to you ! 

[He comes appealingly to her. 



Oh! 



Lady V. [Repulsing him indignantly.'] 



134 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 

Very well, if you will have it so. But remember I 
loved you so much I was willing to forget and for- 
give everything for your sake. 1 Remember how I 
loved you ! Think of that — when it's too late ! 

[Exit. 2 

Sir J. [Watches Mayne off, then goes up very 
tenderly to Lady Verona and tries to caress her.] 

At last then — since it must be so ! 

Lady V. [Repulsing him.] 
No — not now — let me think. 

Sir J. 
Tell me you know I did my best for you. 

Lady V. 

Yes, yes, indeed! And it was to be — I couldn't 
help myself, could I ? 3 

Sir J. 
Vee. You don't repent 4 

Lady V. 

No, I don't repent — but Jo, everybody will think I 
really was guilty. 

Sir J. 

You don't mind now what people think or say, do 
you? 

Lady V. 

No — no — only I want everybody to know that there 
really was nothing between us — that he drove me 
to this by his suspicions. You'll take care every- 
body knows that? 

135 



1 Goes up to door 



He opens door 
and is about to 
go out -when 
Sir J. makes a 
movement to- 
wards Lady 
V. Mayne sees 
the movement 
andstops. Sir 
J. stops. He 
gives each a 
searching look 
and then exits 
slowly shut- 
ting door. 



8 Crosses Mm to 



4 Gets C. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



SC. I 



1 Props into 
chair C. 



Sir J. 

Yes — so far as I can 

Lady V. 1 thoroughly breaks down, sob- 
bing. 

Sir J. 
What is it, dearest ? 

Lady V. [Sobbing.] 

I can't help it! You told me to be brave and to 
chaff him — so 
feel 



* He half turns 
to R. then faces 
her reproach- 
July. 



» His, 



* Sir J. goes u/> 
c. and then 
moves L. c. 



6 At door. 

R Sir J. moves 
away fro m 
Lady V. to R. 



I did — just for the time — now I 

[Sobbing. 

Sir J. 

Come, dearest, there's no need to stay here. The 
sooner you take the plunge the better 2 

Lady V. [Suddenly.] 

Then I haven't taken it ? Oh, don't look at me so 
reproachfully. You have been good. And I will 
try — I will try — only 

What's the matter? 
you're mine now 



Sir J. 
Come, trust yourself to me — 

Lady V, 

No — no. 3 Jo, listen to this. I am at your mercy — 
if you force me to go with you, I dare say I shall, 
but I'm sure in three clays I shall begin to hate you 

[He makes a gesture of despair.] And after 

all there is a good deal of excuse for his believing 
the worst — he was ready to forgive me — Jo, don't 
look so reproachfully, 4 I know I'm weak and foolish ! 
All my courage has gone — Jo, I can't face it, now 
it comes to the point. 

[She continues sobbing a little hysterically. 

Lady Joyce enters 5 goes to Lady Verona and they 
embrace affectionately, sobbing together.'' 
136 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Joyce 



Lady V. 

Lady J. 
[Petting Lady Verona.] 



Vee! [Petting Lady Verona.] There, darling! 
There! Tell me all about it! Sir Joseph, what 
are you doing here ? what has happened ? 

Sir J. 

Mayne refuses to believe that my presence here that 
night was an accident. What can we do? your 
sister has decided to leave Hardolph and place her 
future in my hands. 

Lady J. 

No, no, Vee, that isn't so — tell me it isn't? 

Lady V. 

I'm sure I don't know — I don't know what has 
happened to me, or what is going to happen — only 
you may be sure of this dear, whatever people say, 
I really am innocent. 

Lady J. [Soothing her.] 

Yes — yes — dear — and Hardolph must be made to 
see it. Where is he? 

[Mayne comes through curtains.] 



Vee, forgive me ! 



Mayne. 1 



Lady V. 2 



Then you didn't go? 

Mayne. 

No, I was so mad with doubt and jealousy that — I 
couldn't help it — I went into the next room on pur- 
pose to listen to what you and Lacy would say when 
you were alone. I heard every word. — Pyecroft 
was shown in. I made him keep quiet, he heard it 

157 



1 Coming' (fawn 



1 Crossesjoyce to 
him. 



ACT III 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



sc. I 



too. Vee, I don't know what to say ! I was utterly 
mistaken. I'll make any reparation, any apology. 
You'll forgive me? I beg ten thousand pardons. 

Vee [he appeals to Lady V., who turns azvay 

from him. Lady J. tries to persuade her to forgive 



1 Mayne crosses 
R. c.| goes to 
Sir Joseph. 



1 Crosses to Sir 
J. R. C. 

3 Mayne goes up 
c. to curtains. 



1 May ne and 
Precroft come 
dowu c. a little. 



'Crosses to 
Lady V. 

7 Crosses L. c. to 
Lady /. 



Mayne. 1 

Mayne. [To Sir J.] 

I own up and — what more can I say? 

[Offers his hand. Sir J. takes it, and they 
shake hands silently 
back to Lady V.] 



Mayne then goes 



Vee, I'm deeply sorry — Vee ! 
Can you forget this ? 



Can you forgive me ? 
[Offers her his hand. 



Lady V. 

Yes — I suppose I must. [Takes his hand and then 
with a plaintive little smile.] But don't do it 
again. 2 But what about Jo? 3 

Sir J. 4 

Oh ! never mind me. I'm getting away from Lon- 
don for a little while and — [shows he is feeling it 
deeply.] Never mind me! 

Mayne. [Calling through curtains.] 
Pyecroft, will you step here a moment ? 

Enter Pyecroft through curtains.^ 

Mayne. 

Pyecroft, will you step here a moment ? 
you know the story is only 

Pye. 

A mere figment, my dear Hardolph, like all these 
stories, a mere figment. 6 Lady Vee, I shall let all 
our friends know. [Shakes hands with her? 
138 



SC. I 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT III 



Mayne. 1 

You were right, Jo, you said it was only an amusing 
little episode with a happy ending. 2 



,Yes- 



Sir J. 3 
• [[Joins Mayne's and Lady V.'s hands.] 

An amusing little episode with a happy ending ! 



Quick Curtain. 



1 Up c. to Sir J. 
•who is up R. 



2 Lady V. comes 
R. C. 

s Coming down 



'39 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



PROPERTY PLOT ACT, I. 

Oval table. 

Oblong table. 

"Writing table. 

4 arm-chairs (small). 

2 single chairs. 

Small table. 

Large china cabinet (full of china). 

Small cabinet. 

Medium sized cabinet. 

Table (Hall). 

Chair " 

Ornaments about room. 



Pair of trousers. 
Pair of slippers. 
Bonnet and shawl. 
(On table). Plates, bread, glasses, Ham bone on dish. 
(In cabinet). Whiskey in bottle, water jug, glass on tray. 
Ready off. Large silver tray. Silver coffee-pot. Hot milk 
jug. Sugar basin and tcngs. Fish knives and 
forks. Small knives and forks. 2 serviettes. Table 
cloth. Real sole cooked on silver dish. Toast in 
rack. Marmalade pot and spoon. Butter dish and 
butter. Butter knife. Writing materials on desk. 
George Morland coloured engraving on scene. 

LIGHTS. 

House full up. 

4 electric sconces on scene (alight). 

Lengths off at entrances. 

Lights to work up and down at cues. 



I Amber Lime on O. P. shelf. 

1 Blue ' 

2 Ambers on P. S. shelf. 

2 Blue limes through window. 
143 



JOSEPH ENTANGLED 



ACT II. 

Large oak cabinet. 

Writing-desk. 

Small chair. 

Small couch. 

Club Ignott. 

Long oak chest. 

Small table. 

Medium-sized square table. 

Lamp stand with Figure (Bronze) on it. 

Revolving book-case. 

Low Japanese table. 

2 stuffed arm-chairs. 
Small arm chair. 
Tapers, etc., on desk. 

Cigars, cigarettes, ash tray, matches on table R. 
Salver and letters and papers for Staddon. 
Stag's-head and armour trophy on scene. 

ACT III. 

Writing-desk ] 

3 small tables 

3 arm-chairs I Louis XVI. 

I single chair I 

Low seat J 

Dutch cabinet. 

China " full of china. 

Coal-scuttle. 

Ornaments on mantel-shelf duplicated at back for dummy 

looking-glass. 
Bear-rug front of fire. 
Writing materials. 
Furniture in room at back. 



141 



V-WIWRCOCJ 



014 491 486 7 



